Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

cancer, and they never knew what was the matter with him till he

died, and he didn’t know himself. It is wonderful how gifts and

diseases can be concealed in that way. All that was necessary in

my case was for this lovely and inspiring girl to cross my path, and

out came the poem, and no more trouble to me to word it and

rhyme it and perfect it than it is to stone a dog. No, I should have

said it was not in me; but it was.

The boys couldn’t say enough about it, they were so charmed and

astonished. The thing that pleased them the most was the way it

would do the Paladin’s business for him. They forgot everything in

their anxiety to get him shelved and silenced. No‰l Rainguesson

was clear beside himself with admiration of the poem, and wished

he could do such a thing, but it was out of his line, and he couldn’t,

of course. He had it by heart in half an hour, and there was never

anything so pathetic and beautiful as the way he recited it. For that

was just his gift–that and mimicry. He could recite anything better

than anybody in the world, and he could take of La Hire to the very

life–or anybody else, for that matter. Now I never could recite

worth a farthing; and when I tried with this poem the boys

wouldn’t let me finish; they would nave nobody but No‰l. So then,

as I wanted the poem to make the best possible impression on

Catherine and the company, I told No‰l he might do the reciting.

Never was anybody so delighted. He could hardly believe that I

was in earnest, but I was. I said that to have them know that I was

the author of it would be enough for me. The boys were full of

exultation, and No‰l said if he could just get one chance at those

people it would be all he would ask; he would make them realize

that there was something higher and finer than war-lies to be had

here.

But how to get the opportunity–that was the difficulty. We

invented several schemes that promised fairly, and at last we hit

upon one that was sure. That was, to let the Paladin get a good

start in a manufactured battle, and then send in a false call for him,

and as soon as he was out of the room, have No‰l take his place

and finish the battle himself in the Paladin’s own style, imitated to

a shade. That would get great applause, and win the house’s favor

and put it in the right mood to hear the poem. The two triumphs

together with finish the Standard-Bearer–modify him, anyway, to

a certainty, and give the rest of us a chance for the future.

So the next night I kept out of the way until the Paladin had got his

start and was sweeping down upon the enemy like a whirlwind at

the head of his corps, then I stepped within the door in my official

uniform and announced that a messenger from General La Hire’s

quarters desired speech with the Standard-Bearer. He left the

room, and No‰l took his place and said that the interruption was to

be deplored, but that fortunately he was personally acquainted with

the details of the battle himself, and if permitted would be glad to

state them to the company. Then without waiting for the

permission he turned himself to the Paladin–a dwarfed Paladin, of

course–with manner, tones, gestures, attitudes, everything exact,

and went right on with the battle, and it would be impossible to

imagine a more perfectly and minutely ridiculous imitation than he

furnished to those shrieking people. They went into spasms,

convulsions, frenzies of laughter, and the tears flowed down their

cheeks in rivulets. The more they laughed, the more inspires No‰l

grew with his theme and the greater marvels he worked, till really

the laughter was not properly laughing any more, but screaming.

Blessedest feature of all, Catherine Boucher was dying with

ecstasies, and presently there was little left of her but gasps and

suffocations. Victory? It was a perfect Agincourt.

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