Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

not proceed on account of my dead. And yet you, you miscreant,

accuse me of climbing trees! Pah!”

And he strode out, with a lofty air, for the recital of his imaginary

deeds had already set him up again and made him feel good.

Next day we mounted and faced toward Chinon. Orleans was at

our back now, and close by, lying in the strangling grip of the

English; soon, please God, we would face about and go to their

relief. From Gien the news had spread to Orleans that the peasant

Maid of Vaucouleurs was on her way, divinely commissioned to

raise the siege. The news made a great excitement and raised a

great hope–the first breath of hope those poor souls had breathed

in five months. They sent commissioners at once to the King to

beg him to consider this matter, and not throw this help lightly

away. These commissioners were already at Chinon by this time.

When we were half-way to Chinon we happened upon yet one

more squad of enemies. They burst suddenly out of the woods, and

in considerable force, too; but we were not the apprentices we

were ten or twelve days before; no, we were seasoned to this kind

of adventure now; our hearts did not jump into our throats and our

weapons tremble in our hands. We had learned to be always in

battle array, always alert, and always ready to deal with any

emergency that might turn up. We were no more dismayed by the

sight of those people than our commander was. Before they could

form, Joan had delivered the order, “Forward!” and we were down

upon them with a rush. They stood no chance; they turned tail and

scattered, we plowing through them as if they had been men of

straw. That was our last ambuscade, and it was probably laid for us

by that treacherous rascal, the King’s own minister and favorite, De

la Tremouille.

We housed ourselves in an inn, and soon the town came flocking

to get a glimpse of the Maid.

Ah, the tedious King and his tedious people! Our two good knights

came presently, their patience well wearied, and reported. They

and we reverently stood–as becomes persons who are in the

presence of kings and the superiors of kings–until Joan, troubled

by this mark of homage and respect, and not content with it nor yet

used to it, although we had not permitted ourselves to do otherwise

since the day she prophesied that wretched traitor’s death and he

was straightway drowned, thus confirming many previous signs

that she was indeed an ambassador commissioned of God,

commanded us to sit; then the Sieur de Metz said to Joan:

“The King has got the letter, but they will not let us have speech

with him.”

“Who is it that forbids?”

“None forbids, but there be three or four that are nearest his

person–schemers and traitors every one–that put obstructions in

the way, and seek all ways, by lies and pretexts, to make delay.

Chiefest of these are Georges de la Tremouille and that plotting

fox, the Archbishop of Rheims. While they keep the King idle and

in bondage to his sports and follies, they are great and their

importance grows; whereas if ever he assert himself and rise and

strike for crown and country like a man, their reign is done. So

they but thrive, they care not if the crown go to destruction and the

King with it.”

“You have spoken with others besides these?”

“Not of the Court, no–the Court are the meek slaves of those

reptiles, and watch their mouths and their actions, acting as they

act, thinking as they think, saying as they say; wherefore they are

cold to us, and turn aside and go another way when we appear. But

we have spoken with the commissioners from Orleans. They said

with heat: ‘It is a marvel that any man in such desperate case as is

the King can moon around in this torpid way, and see his all go to

ruin without lifting a finger to stay the disaster. What a most

strange spectacle it is! Here he is, shut up in this wee corner of the

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