Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

shepherdess, very candid, but not given to talking.”

It was quite true–in their case. But if they could have looked back

and seen her with us in the happy pastures of Domremy, they

would have perceived that she had a tongue that could go fast

enough when no harm could come of her words.

So we traveled to Poitiers, to endure there three weeks of tedious

delay while this poor child was being daily questioned and

badgered before a great bench of–what? Military experts?–since

what she had come to apply for was an army and the privilege of

leading it to battle against the enemies of France. Oh no; it was a

great bench of priests and monks–profoundly leaned and astute

casuists–renowned professors of theology! Instead of setting a

military commission to find out if this valorous little soldier could

win victories, they set a company of holy hair-splitters and

phrase-mongers to work to find out if the soldier was sound in her

piety and had no doctrinal leaks. The rats were devouring the

house, but instead of examining the cat’s teeth and claws, they only

concerned themselves to find out if it was a holy cat. If it was a

pious cat, a moral cat, all right, never mind about the other

capacities, they were of no consequence.

Joan was as sweetly self-possessed and tranquil before this grim

tribunal, with its robed celebrities, its solemn state and imposing

ceremonials, as if she were but a spectator and not herself on trial.

She sat there, solitary on her bench, untroubled, and disconcerted

the science of the sages with her sublime ignorance–an ignorance

which was a fortress; arts, wiles, the learning drawn from books,

and all like missiles rebounded from its unconscious masonry and

fell to the ground harmless; they could not dislodge the garrison

which was within–Joan’s serene great heart and spirit, the guards

and keepers of her mission.

She answered all questions frankly, and she told all the story of her

visions and of her experiences with the angels and what they said

to her; and the manner of the telling was so unaffected, and so

earnest and sincere, and made it all seem so lifelike and real, that

even that hard practical court forgot itself and sat motionless and

mute, listening with a charmed and wondering interest to the end.

And if you would have other testimony than mine, look in the

histories and you will find where an eyewitness, giving sworn

testimony in the Rehabilitation process, says that she told that tale

“with a noble dignity and simplicity,” and as to its effect, says in

substance what I have said. Seventeen, she was–seventeen, and all

alone on her bench by herself; yet was not afraid, but faced that

great company of erudite doctor4s of law ant theology, and by the

help of no art learned in the schools, but using only the

enchantments which were hers by nature, of youth, sincerity, a

voice soft and musical, and an eloquence whose source was the

heart, not the head, she laid that spell upon them. Now was not

that a beautiful thing to see? If I could, I would put it before you

just as I saw it; then I know what you would say.

As I have told you, she could not read. “One day they harried and

pestered her with arguments, reasonings, objections, and other

windy and wordy trivialities, gathered out of the works of this and

that and the other great theological authority, until at last her

patience vanished, and she turned upon them sharply and said:

“I don’t know A from B; but I know this: that I am come by

command of the Lord of Heaven to deliver Orleans from the

English power and crown the King of Rheims, and the matters ye

are puttering over are of no consequence!”

Necessarily those were trying days for her, and wearing for

everybody that took part; but her share was the hardest, for she had

no holidays, but must be always on hand and stay the long hours

through, whereas this, that, and the other inquisitor could absent

himself and rest up from his fatigues when he got worn out. And

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