Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

went, which was well, for if I had gone to the ground in my armor

I could not have gotten up again by myself. The English warders

on the battlements laughed a coarse laugh, forgetting that every

one must begin, and that there had been a time when they

themselves would have fared no better when shot by a jackass.

The English never uttered a challenge nor fired a shot. It was said

afterward that when their men saw the Maid riding at the front and

saw how lovely she was, their eager courage cooled down in many

cases and vanished in the rest, they feeling certain that the creature

was not mortal, but the very child of Satan, and so the officers

were prudent and did not try to make them fight. It was said also

that some of the officers were affected by the same superstitious

fears. Well, in any case, they never offered to molest us, and we

poked by all the grisly fortresses in peace. During the march I

caught up on my devotions, which were in arrears; so it was not all

loss and no profit for me after all.

It was on this march that the histories say Dunois told Joan that the

English were expecting reinforcements under the command of Sir

John Fastolfe, and that she turned upon him and said:

“Bastard, Bastard, in God’s name I warn you to let me know of his

coming as soon as you hear of it; for if he passes without my

knowledge you shall lose your head!”

It may be so; I don’t deny it; but I didn’t her it. If she really said it I

think she only meant she would take off his official head–degrade

him from his command. It was not like her to threaten a comrade’s

life. She did have her doubts of her generals, and was entitled to

them, for she was all for storm and assault, and they were for

holding still and tiring the English out. Since they did not believe

in her way and were experienced old soldiers, it would be natural

for them to prefer their own and try to get around carrying hers

out.

But I did hear something that the histories didn’t mention and don’t

know about. I heard Joan say that now that the garrisons on the

other wide had been weakened to strengthen those on our side, the

most effective point of operations had shifted to the south shore;

so she meant to go over there and storm the forts which held the

bridge end, and that would open up communication with our own

dominions and raise the siege. The generals began to balk,

privately, right away, but they only baffled and delayed her, and

that for only four days.

All Orleans met the army at the gate and huzzaed it through the

bannered streets to its various quarters, but nobody had to rock it

to sleep; it slumped down dog-tired, for Dunois had rushed it

without mercy, and for the next twenty-four hours it would be

quiet, all but the snoring.

Chapter 17 Sweet Fruit of Bitter Truth

WHEN WE got home, breakfast for us minor fry was waiting in

our mess-room and the family honored us by coming in to eat it

with us. The nice old treasurer, and in fact all three were

flatteringly eager to hear about our adventures. Nobody asked the

Paladin to begin, but he did begin, because now that his specially

ordained and peculiar military rank set him above everybody on

the personal staff but old D’Aulon, who didn’t eat with us, he didn’t

care a farthing for the knights’ nobility no mine, but took

precedence in the talk whenever it suited him, which was all the

time, because he was born that way. He said:

“God be thanked, we found the army in admirable condition I

think I have never seen a finer body of animals.”

“Animals!” said Miss Catherine.

“I will explain to you what he means,” said No‰l. “He–”

“I will trouble you not to trouble yourself to explain anything for

me,” said the Paladin, loftily. “I have reason to think–”

“That is his way,” said No‰l; “always when he thinks he has reason

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