Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

He was of no good as an exhibition. But if La Hire had only come

in, that would have been another matter. Those two fenced often; I

saw them many times. True, Joan was easily his master, but it

made a good show for all that, for La Hire was a grand swordsman.

What a swift creature Joan was! You would see her standing erect

with her ankle-bones together and her foil arched over her head,

the hilt in one hand and the button in the other–the old general

opposite, bent forward, left hand reposing on his back, his foil

advanced, slightly wiggling and squirming, his watching eye

boring straight into hers–and all of a sudden she would give a

spring forward, and back again; and there she was, with the foil

arched over her head as before. La Hire had been hit, but all that

the spectator saw of it was a something like a thin flash of light in

the air, but nothing distinct, nothing definite.

We kept the drinkables moving, for that would please the Bailly

and the landlord; and old Laxart and D’Arc got to feeling quite

comfortable, but without being what you could call tipsy. They got

out the presents which they had been buying to carry

home–humble things and cheap, but they would be fine there, and

welcome. And they gave to Joan a present from PЉre Fronte and

one from her mother–the one a little leaden image of the Holy

Virgin, the other half a yard of blue silk ribbon; and she was as

pleased as a child; and touched, too, as one could see plainly

enough. Yes, she kissed those poor things over and over again, as

if they had been something costly and wonderful; and she pinned

the Virgin on her doublet, and sent for her helmet and tied the

ribbon on that; first one way, then another; then a new way, then

another new way; and with each effort perching the helmet on her

hand and holding it off this way and that, and canting her head to

one side and then the other, examining the effect, as a bird does

when it has got a new bug. And she said she could almost wish she

was going to the wars again; for then she would fight with the

better courage, as having always with her something which her

mother’s touch had blessed.

Old Laxart said he hoped she would go to the wars again, but

home first, for that all the people there were cruel anxious to see

her–and so he went on:

“They are proud of you, dear. Yes, prouder than any village ever

was of anybody before. And indeed it is right and rational; for it is

the first time a village has ever had anybody like you to be proud

of and call its own. And it is strange and beautiful how they try to

give your name to every creature that has a sex that is convenient.

It is but half a year since you began to be spoken of and left us, and

so it is surprising to see how many babies there are already in that

region that are named for you. First it was just Joan; then it was

Joan-Orleans; then Joan-Orleans-Beaugency-Patay; and now the

next ones will have a lot of towns and the Coronation added, of

course. Yes, and the animals the same. They know how you love

animals, and so they try to do you honor and show their love for

you by naming all those creatures after you; insomuch that if a

body should step out and call ”Joan of Arc–come!’ ‘there would be

a landslide of cats and all such things, each supposing it was the

one wanted, and all willing to take the benefit of the doubt,

anyway, for the sake of the food that might be on delivery. The

kitten you left behind–the last estray you fetched home–bears you

name, now, and belongs to PЉre Fronte, and is the pet nad pride of

the village; and people have come miles to look at it and pet it and

stare at it and wonder over it because it was Joan of Arc’s cat.

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