Personal Recollections of Joan by Mark Twain

fight had been fair!”

Evidently Cauchon had grown afraid of Manchon because of his

pretty apparent leanings toward Joan, for another recorder was in

the chief place here, which left my master and me nothing to do

but sit idle and look on.

Well, I suppose that everything had been done which could be

thought of to tire Joan’s body and mind, but it was a mistake; one

more device had been invented. This was to preach a long sermon

to her in that oppressive heat.

When the preacher began, she cast up one distressed and

disappointed look, then dropped her head again. This preacher was

Guillaume Erard, an oratorical celebrity. He got his text from the

Twelve Lies. He emptied upon Joan al the calumnies in detail that

had been bottled up in that mass of venom, and called her all the

brutal names that the Twelve were labeled with, working himself

into a whirlwind of fury as he went on; but his labors were wasted,

she seemed lost in dreams, she made no sign, she did not seem to

hear. At last he launched this apostrophe:

“O France, how hast thou been abused! Thou hast always been the

home of Christianity; but now, Charles, who calls himself thy King

and governor, indorses, like the heretic and schismatic that he is,

the words and deeds of a worthless and infamous woman!” Joan

raised her head, and her eyes began to burn and flash. The

preacher turned to her: “It is to you, Joan, that I speak, and I tell

you that your King is schismatic and a heretic!”

Ah, he might abuse her to his heart’s content; she could endure

that; but to her dying moment she could never hear in patience a

word against that ingrate, that treacherous dog our King, whose

proper place was here, at this moment, sword in hand, routing

these reptiles and saving this most noble servant that ever King

had in this world–and he would have been there if he had not been

what I have called him. Joan’s loyal soul was outraged, and she

turned upon the preacher and flung out a few words with a spirit

which the crowd recognized as being in accordance with the Joan

of Arc traditions:

“By my faith, sir! I make bold to say and swear, on pain of death,

that he is the most noble Christian of all Christians, and the best

lover of the faith and the Church!”

There was an explosion of applause from the crowd–which

angered the preacher, for he had been aching long to hear an

expression like this, and now that it was come at last it had fallen

to the wrong person: he had done all the work; the other had

carried off all the spoil. He stamped his foot and shouted to the

sheriff:

“Make her shut up!”

That made the crowd laugh.

A mob has small respect for a grown man who has to call on a

sheriff to protect him from a sick girl.

Joan had damaged the preacher’s cause more with one sentence

than he had helped it with a hundred; so he was much put out, and

had trouble to get a good start again. But he needn’t have bothered;

thee was no occasion. It was mainly an English-feeling mob. It had

but obeyed a law of our nature–an irresistible law–to enjoy and

applaud a spirited and promptly delivered retort, no matter who

makes it. The mob was with the preacher; it had been beguiled for

a moment, but only that; it would soon return. It was there to see

this girl burnt; so that it got that satisfaction–without too much

delay–it would be content.

Presently the preacher formally summoned Joan to submit to the

Church. He made the demand with confidence, for he had gotten

the idea from Loyseleur and Beaupere that she was worn to the

bone, exhausted, and would not be able to put forth any more

resistance; and, indeed, to look at her it seemed that they must be

right. Nevertheless, she made one more effort to hold her ground,

and said, wearily:

“As to that matter, I have answered my judges before. I have told

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