A Darkness in my Soul by Dean R. Koontz

treat him and could find no woman to love or who would

love him. He was so restricted in his physical existence

that he had to turn to theory and intellectual search to

find an answer.

GODGODGODGOD … trapped in a cavern to tell

answers . . . GGG . . .

I followed the thoughts to their end; I was swept along

with them against my will. I never should have listened in

the first place. It was the ultimate theory, and he had

proven it beyond a doubt.. ..

He had tried to contact God.

He had found the whereabouts of the Supreme Being,

the plane of existence upon which He lived.

He asked what meaning there could be to life and to

the chaotic world in which man lived. And he was an-

swered; he solved his problem.

He asked what was at the center of creation. And he

found out.

And now I was trapped down there.

There were three of us.

Child, Simeon, and God.

And we were all three quite insane.

TWO

Humanity

Restored…

I

Trapped within the convoluted miasma of Child’s mind,

I eventually lost all consideration of what was real and

what was not. Here, in the fascinating chiaroscuro ruins of

his subconscious mind, the shattered mental analogues

were every bit as concrete as the world I had known

outside of Child. The stones were textured by the weather

as they were in the world beyond; the trees had as many

leaves of as many different shades of green as any I had

seen before; the wind was not a constant, but changed

from bitter cold to almost suffocating warmth, and was

moderate more often than not. There were birds and a

wide variety of land-bound animals, which, though subtly

different or wildly mutated from their “real” parallels,

were always believable, detailed and rich with color and

habits. At first, I catalogued the differences, the fine points

of distinction between the real world and this analogue of

Child’s interior, but that only made me melancholy, unsat-

isfied, and soon had me acting like a manic-depressive. I

realized that, if this were to be my home for the remain-

der of my days, I would have to forget the other world I

had known. And for my own peace of mind, I would also

have to forget that when Child died, we all died, trapped

here inside him. It was bizarre, but it was my new reality

and required my swift adaptation.

So I adapted.

At first, there had been a time of madness. When I

recovered my wits, I did not know how much time had

passed, and I could not remember much of what I had

done. I remembered running along canyons of stone which

shimmered and changed colors around me, thrust up, dis-

solved, formed new projections, a living rock that sang

mournful dirges and sometime burst into long, wailing

screams that made me fall and cover my ears and scream

in sympathy. There were visions of mottled skies that were

sometimes all shades of yellow, sometimes all shades of

red, sometimes an ugly whirl of black and brown. I had

climbed in cold places and had followed descending trails

into warm ones. I had been on strange seas with waters

thick like syrup, and in lakes where the surface reeked of

brandy. I had seen dark shapes, like huge spiders, dancing

along endless webs of sticky white thread, and I had seen

maggots crawling in the walls, disappearing in the stone

when I came close enough to examine them. At times, a

force of monumental strength passed me, a whirling mad-

ness of surging energy, which was He, which was God, the

maddest of the three of us. And then I was sane, lying on

the floors of a wide tunnel, stretched full length, as if I

had fallen while running from something that terrified me.

I sat up, looked around me, knew that it was so, that I

was trapped here, and decided there was nothing to do

but make the most of it.

Besides, I nurtured a grain of hope. Perhaps the mind

of the wizened boy, this Child, would regain its sanity.

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