Christian Science by Mark Twain

Mary the Matron; later, with a change of precedence, Mary the Matron and

Mary the Virgin. Let the artist get ready with his canvas and his

brushes; the new Renaissance is on its way, and there will be money in

altar-canvases–a thousand times as much as the Popes and their Church

ever spent on the Old Masters; for their riches were poverty as compared

with what is going to pour into the treasure-chest of the Christian-

Scientist Papacy by-and-by, let us not doubt it. We will examine the

financial outlook presently and see what it promises. A favorite subject

of the new Old Master will be the first verse of the twelfth chapter of

Revelation–a verse which Mrs. Eddy says (in her Annex to the Scriptures)

has “one distinctive feature which has special reference to the present

age”–and to her, as is rather pointedly indicated:

“And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the

sun, and the moon under her feet,” etc.

The woman clothed with the sun will be a portrait of Mrs. Eddy.

Is it insanity to believe that Christian Scientism is destined to make

the most formidable show that any new religion has made in the world

since the birth and spread of Mobammedanism, and that within a century

from now it may stand second to Rome only, in numbers and power in

Christendom?

If this is a wild dream it will not be easy to prove it so just yet, I

think. There seems argument that it may come true. The Christian-

Science “boom,” proper, is not yet five years old; yet already it has two

hundred and fifty churches.

It has its start, you see, and it is a phenomenally good one. Moreover,

it is latterly spreading with a constantly accelerating swiftness. It

has a better chance to grow and prosper and achieve permanency than any

other existing “ism”; for it has more to offer than any other. The past

teaches us that in order to succeed, a movement like this must not be a

mere philosophy, it must be a religion; also, that it must not claim

entire originality, but content itself with passing for an improvement on

an existing religion, and show its hand later, when strong and

prosperous–like Mohammedanism.

Next, there must be money–and plenty of it.

Next, the power and authority and capital must be concentrated in the

grip of a small and irresponsible clique, with nobody outside privileged

to ask questions or find fault.

Next, as before remarked, it must bait its hook with some new and

attractive advantages over the baits offered by its competitors. A new

movement equipped with some of these endowments–like spiritualism, for

instance may count upon a considerable success; a new movement equipped

with the bulk of them–like Mohammedanism, for instance– may count upon

a widely extended conquest. Mormonism had all the requisites but one it

had nothing new and nothing valuable to bait with. Spiritualism lacked

the important detail of concentration of money and authority in the hands

of an irresponsible clique.

The above equipment is excellent, admirable, powerful, but not perfect.

There is yet another detail which is worth the whole of it put together

and more; a detail which has never been joined (in the beginning of a

religious movement) to a supremely good working equipment since the world

began, until now: a new personage to worship. Christianity had the

Saviour, but at first and for generations it lacked money and

concentrated power. In Mrs. Eddy, Christian Science possesses the new

personage for worship, and in addition–here in the very beginning–a

working equipment that has not a flaw in it. In the beginning,

Mohammedanism had no money; and it has never had anything to offer its

client but heaven– nothing here below that was valuable. In addition to

heaven hereafter, Christian Science has present health and a cheerful

spirit to offer; and in comparison with this bribe all other this-world

bribes are poor and cheap. You recognize that this estimate is

admissible, do you not?

To whom does Bellamy’s “Nationalism” appeal? Necessarily to the few:

people who read and dream, and are compassionate, and troubled for the

poor and the hard-driven. To whom does Spiritualism appeal? Necessarily

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