Christian Science by Mark Twain

In that case is there no field for the new Christianity, no opportunity

for usefulness, precious usefulness, great and distinguished usefulness?

I think there is. I am far from being confident that it can fill it, but

I will indicate that unoccupied field–without charge–and if it can

conquer it, it will deserve the praise and gratitude of the Christian

world, and will get it, I am sure.

The present Christianity makes an excellent private Christian, but its

endeavors to make an excellent public one go for nothing, substantially.

This is an honest nation–in private life. The American Christian is a

straight and clean and honest man, and in his private commerce with his

fellows can be trusted to stand faithfully by the principles of honor and

honesty imposed upon him by his religion. But the moment he comes

forward to exercise a public trust he can be confidently counted upon to

betray that trust in nine cases out of ten, if “party loyalty” shall

require it.

If there are two tickets in the field in his city, one composed of honest

men and the other of notorious blatherskites and criminals, he will not

hesitate to lay his private Christian honor aside and vote for the

blatherskites if his “party honor” shall exact it. His Christianity is

of no use to him and has no influence upon him when he is acting in a

public capacity. He has sound and sturdy private morals, but he has no

public ones. In the last great municipal election in New York, almost a

complete one-half of the votes representing 3,500,000 Christians were

cast for a ticket that had hardly a man on it whose earned and proper

place was outside of a jail. But that vote was present at church next

Sunday the same as ever, and as unconscious of its perfidy as if nothing

had happened.

Our Congresses consist of Christians. In their private life they are

true to every obligation of honor; yet in every session they violate them

all, and do it without shame; because honor to party is above honor to

themselves. It is an accepted law of public life that in it a man may

soil his honor in the interest of party expediency –must do it when

party expediency requires it. In private life those men would bitterly

resent–and justly–any insinuation that it would not be safe to leave

unwatched money within their reach; yet you could not wound their

feelings by reminding them that every time they vote ten dollars to the

pension appropriation nine of it is stolen money and they the marauders.

They have filched the money to take care of the party; they believe it

was right to do it; they do not see how their private honor is affected;

therefore their consciences are clear and at rest. By vote they do

wrongful things every day, in the party interest, which they could not be

persuaded to do in private life. In the interest of party expediency

they give solemn pledges, they make solemn compacts; in the interest of

party expediency they repudiate them without a blush. They would not

dream of committing these strange crimes in private life.

Now then, can Christian Science introduce the Congressional Blush? There

are Christian Private Morals, but there are no Christian Public Morals,

at the polls, or in Congress or anywhere else –except here and there and

scattered around like lost comets in the solar system. Can Christian

Science persuade the nation and Congress to throw away their public

morals and use none but their private ones henceforth in all their

activities, both public and private?

I do not think so; but no matter about me: there is the field–a grand

one, a splendid one, a sublime one, and absolutely unoccupied. Has

Christian Science confidence enough in itself to undertake to enter in

and try to possess it?

Make the effort, Christian Science; it is a most noble cause, and it

might succeed. It could succeed. Then we should have a new literature,

with romances entitled, How To Be an Honest Congressman Though a

Christian; How To Be a Creditable Citizen Though a Christian.

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