Christian Science by Mark Twain

was intended to mean.

Her Church was on its legs.

She was its pastor. It was prospering.

She was appointed one of a committee to draught By-laws for its

government. It may be observed, without overplus of irreverence, that

this was larks for her. She did all of the draughting herself. From the

very beginning she was always in the front seat when there was business

to be done; in the front seat, with both eyes open, and looking sharply

out for Number One; in the front seat, working Mortal Mind with fine

effectiveness and giving Immortal Mind a rest for Sunday. When her

Church was reorganized, by-and-by, the By-laws were retained. She saw to

that. In these Laws for the government of her Church, her empire, her

despotism, Mrs. Eddy’s character is embalmed for good and all. I think a

particularized examination of these Church-laws will be found

interesting. And not the less so if we keep in mind that they were

“impelled by a power not one’s own,” as she says–Anglice. the

inspiration of God.

It is a Church “without a creed.” Still, it has one. Mrs. Eddy

draughted it–and copyrighted it. In her own name. You cannot become a

member of the Mother-Church (nor of any Christian Science Church) without

signing it. It forms the first chapter of the By-laws, and is called

“Tenets.” “Tenets of The Mother Church, The First Church of Christ,

Scientist.” It has no hell in it–it throws it overboard.

THE PASTOR EMERITUS

About the time of the reorganization, Mrs. Eddy retired from her position

of pastor of her Church, abolished the office of pastor in all branch

Churches, and appointed her book, Science and Health, to be pastor-

universal. Mrs. Eddy did not disconnect herself from the office

entirely, when she retired, but appointed herself Pastor Emeritus. It is

a misleading title, and belongs to the family of that phrase “without a

creed.” It advertises her as being a merely honorary official, with

nothing to do, and no authority. The Czar of Russia is Emperor Emeritus

on the same terms. Mrs. Eddy was Autocrat of the Church before, with

limitless authority, and she kept her grip on that limitless authority

when she took that fictitious title.

It is curious and interesting to note with what an unerring instinct the

Pastor Emeritus has thought out and forecast all possible encroachments

upon her planned autocracy, and barred the way against them, in the By-

laws which she framed and copyrighted–under the guidance of the Supreme

Being.

THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS

For instance, when Article I. speaks of a President and Board of

Directors, you think you have discovered a formidable check upon the

powers and ambitions of the honorary pastor, the ornamental pastor, the

functionless pastor, the Pastor Emeritus, but it is a mistake. These

great officials are of the phrase–family of the Church-Without-a-Creed

and the Pastor-With-Nothing-to-Do; that is to say, of the family of

Large-Names-Which-Mean-Nothing. The Board is of so little consequence

that the By-laws do not state how it is chosen, nor who does it; but they

do state, most definitely, that the Board cannot fill a vacancy in its

number “except the candidate is approved by the Pastor Emeritus.”

The “candidate.” The Board cannot even proceed to an election until the

Pastor Emeritus has examined the list and squelched such candidates as

are not satisfactory to her.

Whether the original first Board began as the personal property of Mrs.

Eddy or not, it is foreseeable that in time, under this By-law, she would

own it. Such a first Board might chafe under such a rule as that, and

try to legislate it out of existence some day. But Mrs. Eddy was awake.

She foresaw that danger, and added this ingenious and effective clause:

“This By-law can neither be amended nor annulled, except by consent of

Mrs. Eddy, the Pastor Emeritus”

THE PRESIDENT

The Board of Directors, or Serfs, or Ciphers, elects the President.

On these clearly worded terms: “Subject to the approval of the Pastor

Emeritus.”

Therefore She elects him.

A long term can invest a high official with influence and power, and make

him dangerous. Mrs. Eddy reflected upon that; so she limits the

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