Christian Science by Mark Twain

sacrificing sort which assuaged him, perhaps, and perhaps enabled his

surpassed comprehension to make a sprint and catch up. These are to be

found in Art. XII., entitled.

THE CHRISTIAN SCIENCE PUBLISHING SOCIETY

This Article puts the whole publishing business into the hands of a

publishing Board–special. Mrs. Eddy appoints to its vacancies.

The profits go semi-annually to the Treasurer of the Mother-Church. Mrs.

Eddy owns the Treasurer.

Editors and publishers of the Christian Science Journal cannot be elected

or removed without Mrs. Eddy’s knowledge and consent.

Every candidate for employment in a high capacity or a low one, on the

other periodicals or in the publishing house, must first be “accepted by

Mrs. Eddy as suitable.” And “by the Board of Directors”–which is

surplusage, since Mrs. Eddy owns the Board.

If at any time a weekly shall be started, “it shall be owned by The First

Church of Christ, Scientist”–which is Mrs. Eddy.

CHAPTER VIII

I think that any one who will carefully examine the By-laws (I have

placed all of the important ones before the reader), will arrive at the

conclusion that of late years the master-passion in Mrs. Eddy’s heart is

a hunger for power and glory; and that while her hunger for money still

remains, she wants it now for the expansion and extension it can furnish

to that power and glory, rather than what it can do for her towards

satisfying minor and meaner ambitions.

I wish to enlarge a little upon this matter. I think it is quite clear

that the reason why Mrs. Eddy has concentrated in herself all powers, all

distinctions, all revenues that are within the command of the Christian

Science Church Universal is that she desires and intends to devote them

to the purpose just suggested–the upbuilding of her personal glory–

hers, and no one else’s; that, and the continuing of her name’s glory

after she shall have passed away. If she has overlooked a single power,

howsoever minute, I cannot discover it. If she has found one, large or

small, which she has not seized and made her own, there is no record of

it, no trace of it. In her foragings and depredations she usually puts

forward the Mother-Church–a lay figure–and hides behind it. Whereas,

she is in manifest reality the Mother-Church herself. It has an

impressive array of officials, and committees, and Boards of Direction,

of Education, of Lectureship, and so on–geldings, every one, shadows,

spectres, apparitions, wax-figures: she is supreme over them all, she can

abolish them when she will; blow them out as she would a candle. She is

herself the Mother-Church. Now there is one By-law which says that the

Mother-Church:

“shall be officially controlled by no other church.”

That does not surprise us–we know by the rest of the By-laws that that

is a quite irrelevant remark. Yet we do vaguely and hazily wonder why

she takes the trouble to say it; why she wastes the words; what her

object can be–seeing that that emergency has been in so many, many ways,

and so effectively and drastically barred off and made impossible. Then

presently the object begins to dawn upon us. That is, it does after we

have read the rest of the By-law three or four times, wondering and

admiring to see Mrs. Eddy–Mrs. Eddy–Mrs. Eddy, of all persons–throwing

away power!– making a fair exchange–doing a fair thing for once more,

an almost generous thing! Then we look it through yet once more

unsatisfied, a little suspicious–and find that it is nothing but a sly,

thin make-believe, and that even the very title of it is a sarcasm and

embodies a falsehood–“self” government:

“Local Self-Government. The First Church of Christ, Scientist, in

Boston, Massachusetts, shall assume no official control of other churches

of this denomination. It shall be officially controlled by no other

church.”

It has a most pious and deceptive give-and-take air of perfect fairness,

unselfishness, magnanimity–almost godliness, indeed. But it is all art.

In the By-laws, Mrs. Eddy, speaking by the mouth of her other self, the

Mother-Church, proclaims that she will assume no official control of

other churches-branch churches. We examine the other By-laws, and they

answer some important questions for us:

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