Christian Science by Mark Twain

have done it? No–not in his own clothes. Disguised as the King, could

he have done it? I think we may not doubt it. I think we may feel sure

that it was not the King’s touch that made the cure in any instance, but

the patient’s faith in the efficacy of a King’s touch. Genuine and

remarkable cures have been achieved through contact with the relics of a

saint. Is it not likely that any other bones would have done as well if

the substitution had been concealed from the patient? When I was a boy a

farmer’s wife who lived five miles from our village had great fame as a

faith-doctor–that was what she called herself. Sufferers came to her

from all around, and she laid her hand upon them and said, “Have faith–

it is all that is necessary,” and they went away well of their ailments.

She was not a religious woman, and pretended to no occult powers. She

said that the patient’s faith in her did the work. Several times I saw

her make immediate cures of severe toothaches. My mother was the

patient. In Austria there is a peasant who drives a great trade in this

sort of industry, and has both the high and the low for patients. He

gets into prison every now and then for practising without a diploma, but

his business is as brisk as ever when he gets out, for his work is

unquestionably successful and keeps his reputation high. In Bavaria

there is a man who performed so many great cures that he had to retire

from his profession of stage-carpentering in order to meet the demand of

his constantly increasing body of customers. He goes on from year to

year doing his miracles, and has become very rich. He pretends to no

religious helps, no supernatural aids, but thinks there is something in

his make-up which inspires the confidence of his patients, and that it is

this confidence which does the work, and not some mysterious power

issuing from himself.

Within the last quarter of a century, in America, several sects of curers

have appeared under various names and have done notable things in the way

of healing ailments without the use of medicines. There are the Mind

Cure the Faith Cure, the Prayer Cure, the Mental Science Cure, and the

Christian-Science Cure; and apparently they all do their miracles with

the same old, powerful instrument–the patient’s imagination. Differing

names, but no difference in the process. But they do not give that

instrument the credit; each sect claims that its way differs from the

ways of the others.

They all achieve some cures, there is no question about it; and the Faith

Cure and the Prayer Cure probably do no harm when they do no good, since

they do not forbid the patient to help out the cure with medicines if he

wants to; but the others bar medicines, and claim ability to cure every

conceivable human ailment through the application of their mental forces

alone. There would seem to be an element of danger here. It has the

look of claiming too much, I think. Public confidence would probably be

increased if less were claimed.

The Christian Scientist was not able to cure my stomach-ache and my cold;

but the horse-doctor did it. This convinces me that Christian Science

claims too much. In my opinion it ought to let diseases alone and

confine itself to surgery. There it would have everything its own way.

The horse-doctor charged me thirty kreutzers, and I paid him; in fact, I

doubled it and gave him a shilling. Mrs. Fuller brought in an itemized

bill for a crate of broken bones mended in two hundred and thirty-four

places–one dollar per fracture.

“Nothing exists but Mind?”

“Nothing,” she answered. “All else is substanceless, all else is

imaginary.”

I gave her an imaginary check, and now she is suing me for substantial

dollars. It looks inconsistent.

CHAPTER V

Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to

each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple

many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and

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