Christian Science by Mark Twain

With her own hand she draughted the By-laws which make her the only

really absolute sovereign that lives to-day in Christendom.

She does not allow any objectionable pictures to be exhibited in the room

where her book is sold, nor any indulgence in idle gossip there; and from

the general look of that By-law I judge that a lightsome and improper

person can be as uncomfortable in that place as he could be in heaven.

THE SANCTUM SANCTORUM AND SACRED CHAIR

In a room in The First Church of Christ, Scientist, there is a museum of

objects which have attained to holiness through contact with Mrs. Eddy–

among them an electrically lighted oil-picture of a chair which she used

to sit in– and disciples from all about the world go softly in there, in

restricted groups, under proper guard, and reverently gaze upon those

relics. It is worship. Mrs. Eddy could stop it if she was not fond of

it, for her sovereignty over that temple is supreme.

The fitting-up of that place as a shrine is not an accident, nor a

casual, unweighed idea; it is imitated from age–old religious custom.

In Treves the pilgrim reverently gazes upon the Seamless Robe, and humbly

worships; and does the same in that other continental church where they

keep a duplicate; and does likewise in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre,

in Jerusalem, where memorials of the Crucifixion are preserved; and now,

by good fortune we have our Holy Chair and things, and a market for our

adorations nearer home.

But is there not a detail that is new, fresh, original? Yes, whatever

old thing Mrs. Eddy touches gets something new by the contact– something

not thought of before by any one –something original, all her own, and

copyrightable. The new feature is self worship–exhibited in permitting

this shrine to be installed during her lifetime, and winking her sacred

eye at it.

A prominent Christian Scientist has assured me that the Scientists do not

worship Mrs. Eddy, and I think it likely that there may be five or six of

the cult in the world who do not worship her, but she herself is

certainly not of that company. Any healthy-minded person who will

examine Mrs. Eddy’s little Autobiography and the Manual of By-laws

written by her will be convinced that she worships herself; and that she

brings to this service a fervor of devotion surpassing even that which

she formerly laid at the feet of the Dollar, and equalling any which

rises to the Throne of Grace from any quarter.

I think this is as good a place as any to salve a hurt which I was the

means of inflicting upon a Christian Scientist lately. The first third

of this book was written in 1899 in Vienna. Until last summer I had

supposed that that third had been printed in a book which I published

about a year later–a hap which had not happened. I then sent the

chapters composing it to the North American Review, but failed. in one

instance, to date them. And so, In an undated chapter I said a lady told

me “last night” so and so. There was nothing to indicate to the reader

that that “last night” was several years old, therefore the phrase seemed

to refer to a night of very recent date. What the lady had told me was,

that in a part of the Mother-Church in Boston she had seen Scientists

worshipping a portrait of Mrs. Eddy before which a light was kept

constantly burning.

A Scientist came to me and wished me to retract that “untruth.” He said

there was no such portrait, and that if I wanted to be sure of it I could

go to Boston and see for myself. I explained that my “last night” meant

a good while ago; that I did not doubt his assertion that there was no

such portrait there now, but that I should continue to believe it had

been there at the time of the lady’s visit until she should retract her

statement herself. I was at no time vouching for the truth of the

remark, nevertheless I considered it worth par.

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