Christian Science by Mark Twain

answered. And there will be one or two other men there who can do the

same thing with a great and complicated educational project; and one or

two others who can do the like with a large scheme for applying

electricity in a new and unheard-of way; and one or two others who can do

it with a showy scheme for revolutionizing the scientific world’s

accepted notions regarding geology. And so on, and so on. But the

manufacturing experts will not be competent to examine the educational

scheme intelligently, and their opinion about it would not be valuable;

neither of these two groups will be able to understand and pass upon the

electrical scheme; none of these three batches of experts will be able to

understand and pass upon the geological revolution; and probably not one

man in the entire lot will be competent to examine, capably, the

intricacies of a political or religious scheme, new or old, and deliver a

judgment upon it which any one need regard as precious.

There you have the top crust. There will be four hundred and seventy-

five men and women present who can draw upon their training and deliver

incontrovertible judgments concerning cheese, and leather, and cattle,

and hardware, and soap, and tar, and candles, and patent medicines, and

dreams, and apparitions, and garden trucks, and cats, and baby food, and

warts, and hymns, and time-tables, and freight-rates, and summer resorts,

and whiskey, and law, and surgery, and dentistry, and blacksmithing, and

shoemaking, and dancing, and Huyler’s candy, and mathematics, and dog

fights, and obstetrics, and music, and sausages, and dry goods, and

molasses, and railroad stocks, and horses, and literature, and labor

unions, and vegetables, and morals, and lamb’s fries, and etiquette, and

agriculture. And not ten among the five hundred–let their minds be ever

so good and bright–will be competent, by grace of the requisite

specialized mental training, to take hold of a complex abstraction of any

kind and make head or tail of it.

The whole five hundred are thinkers, and they are all capable thinkers–

but only within the narrow limits of their specialized trainings. Four

hundred and ninety of them cannot competently examine either a religious

plan or a political one. A scattering few of them do examine both–that

is, they think they do. With results as precious as when I examine the

nebular theory and explain it to myself.

If the four hundred and ninety got their religion through their minds,

and by weighed and measured detail, Christian Science would not be a

scary apparition. But they don’t; they get a little of it through their

minds, more of it through their feelings, and the overwhelming bulk of it

through their environment.

Environment is the chief thing to be considered when one is proposing to

predict the future of Christian Science. It is not the ability to reason

that makes the Presbyterian, or the Baptist, or the Methodist, or the

Catholic, or the Mohammedan, or the Buddhist, or the Mormon; it is

environment. If religions were got by reasoning, we should have the

extraordinary spectacle of an American family with a Presbyterian in it,

and a Baptist, a Methodist, a Catholic, a Mohammedan, a Buddhist, and a

Mormon. A Presbyterian family does not produce Catholic families or

other religious brands, it produces its own kind; and not by intellectual

processes, but by association. And so also with Mohammedanism, the cult

which in our day is spreading with the sweep of a world-conflagration

through the Orient, that native home of profound thought and of subtle

intellectual fence, that fertile womb whence has sprung every great

religion that exists. Including our own; for with all our brains we

cannot invent a religion and market it.

The language of my quoted prophets recurs to us now, and we wonder to

think how small a space in the world the mighty Mohammedan Church would

be occupying now, if a successful trade in its line of goods had been

conditioned upon an exhibit that would “appeal to the intellect” instead

of to “the unintelligent, the mentally inferior, the people who do not

think.”

The Christian Science Church, like the Mohammedan Church, makes no

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