Christian Science by Mark Twain

come gratefully, come gladly. And if her glory stood in more need of the

money in Boston than it does where her flocks are propagating it, she

would lift the hand, I think.

She is still reaching for the Dollar, she will continue to reach for it;

but not that she may spend it upon herself; not that she may spend it

upon charities; not that she may indemnify an early deprivation and

clothe herself in a blaze of North Adams gauds; not that she may have

nine breeds of pie for breakfast, as only the rich New-Englander can; not

that she may indulge any petty material vanity or appetite that once was

hers and prized and nursed, but that she may apply that Dollar to

statelier uses, and place it where it may cast the metallic sheen of her

glory farthest across the receding expanses of the globe.

PRAYER

A brief and good one is furnished in the book of By-laws. The Scientist

is required to pray it every day.

THE LORD’S PRAYER-AMENDED

This is not in the By-laws, it is in the first chapter of Science and

Health, edition of 1902. I do not find it in the edition of 1884. It is

probable that it had not at that time been handed down. Science and

Health’s (latest) rendering of its “spiritual sense” is as follows:

“Our Father-Mother God’ all-harmonious, adorable One. Thy kingdom is

within us, Thou art ever-present. Enable us to know–as in heaven, so on

earth–God is supreme. Give us grace for to-day; feed the famished

affections. And infinite Love is reflected in love. And Love leadeth us

not into temptation, but delivereth from sin, disease, and death. For

God is now and forever all Life, Truth, and Love.”

If I thought my opinion was desired and would be properly revered, I

should say that in my judgment that is as good a piece of carpentering as

any of those eleven Commandment–experts could do with the material after

all their practice. I notice only one doubtful place.” Lead us not into

temptation” seems to me to be a very definite request, and that the new

rendering turns the definite request into a definite assertion. I shall

be glad to have that turned back to the old way and the marks of the

Spiral Twist removed, or varnished over; then I shall be satisfied, and

will do the best I can with what is left. At the same time, I do feel

that the shrinkage in our spiritual assets is getting serious. First the

Commandments, now the Prayer. I never expected to see these steady old

reliable securities watered down to this. And this is not the whole of

it. Last summer the Presbyterians extended the Calling and Election

suffrage to nearly everybody entitled to salvation. They did not even

stop there, but let out all the unbaptized American infants we had been

accumulating for two hundred years and more. There are some that believe

they would have let the Scotch ones out, too, if they could have done it.

Everything is going to ruin; in no long time we shall have nothing left

but the love of God.

THE NEW UNPARDONABLE SIN

“Working Against the Cause. Sec. 2. If a member of this Church shall

work against the accomplishment of what the Discoverer and Founder of

Christian Science understands is advantageous to the individual, to this

Church, and to the Cause of Christian Science”–out he goes. Forever.

The member may think that what he is doing will advance the Cause, but he

is not invited to do any thinking. More than that, he is not permitted

to do any–as he will clearly gather from this By-law. When a person

joins Mrs. Eddy’s Church he must leave his thinker at home. Leave it

permanently. To make sure that it will not go off some time or other

when he is not watching, it will be safest for him to spike it. If he

should forget himself and think just once, the By-law provides that he

shall be fired out-instantly-forever-no return.

“It shall be the duty of this Church immediately to call a meeting, and

drop forever the name of this member from its records.”

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