LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI BY MARK TWAIN

been used in it there is no circumstantial evidence to back up the fact.

It is curious that cabbages and hay and things do not grow in the Academy

of Music; but no doubt it is on account of the interruption of the light by

the benches, and the impossibility of hoeing the crop except in the aisles.

The fact that the ushers grow their buttonhole-bouquets on the premises

shows what might be done if they had the right kind of an agricultural head

to the establishment.

We visited also the venerable Cathedral, and the pretty square in front of it;

the one dim with religious light, the other brilliant with the worldly sort,

and lovely with orange-trees and blossomy shrubs; then we drove in the hot sun

through the wilderness of houses and out on to the wide dead level beyond,

where the villas are, and the water wheels to drain the town, and the commons

populous with cows and children; passing by an old cemetery where we were

told lie the ashes of an early pirate; but we took him on trust, and did

not visit him. He was a pirate with a tremendous and sanguinary history;

and as long as he preserved unspotted, in retirement, the dignity of his

name and the grandeur of his ancient calling, homage and reverence were his

from high and low; but when at last he descended into politics and became

a paltry alderman, the public ‘shook’ him, and turned aside and wept.

When he died, they set up a monument over him; and little by little he has

come into respect again; but it is respect for the pirate, not the alderman.

To-day the loyal and generous remember only what he was, and charitably forget

what he became.

Thence, we drove a few miles across a swamp, along a raised shell road,

with a canal on one hand and a dense wood on the other; and here and there,

in the distance, a ragged and angular-limbed and moss-bearded cypress,

top standing out, clear cut against the sky, and as quaint of form as the

apple-trees in Japanese pictures–such was our course and the surroundings

of it. There was an occasional alligator swimming comfortably along

in the canal, and an occasional picturesque colored person on the bank,

flinging his statue-rigid reflection upon the still water and watching

for a bite.

And by-and-bye we reached the West End, a collection of hotels of

the usual light summer-resort pattern, with broad verandas all around,

and the waves of the wide and blue Lake Pontchartrain lapping the thresholds.

We had dinner on a ground-veranda over the water–the chief dish the renowned

fish called the pompano, delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

Thousands of people come by rail and carriage to West End and

to Spanish Fort every evening, and dine, listen to the bands,

take strolls in the open air under the electric lights,

go sailing on the lake, and entertain themselves in various

and sundry other ways.

We had opportunities on other days and in other places to test the pompano.

Notably, at an editorial dinner at one of the clubs in the city.

He was in his last possible perfection there, and justified his fame.

In his suite was a tall pyramid of scarlet cray-fish–large ones; as large

as one’s thumb–delicate, palatable, appetizing. Also deviled whitebait;

also shrimps of choice quality; and a platter of small soft-shell crabs

of a most superior breed. The other dishes were what one might get

at Delmonico’s, or Buckingham Palace; those I have spoken of can be had

in similar perfection in New Orleans only, I suppose.

In the West and South they have a new institution–the Broom Brigade.

It is composed of young ladies who dress in a uniform costume,

and go through the infantry drill, with broom in place of musket.

It is a very pretty sight, on private view. When they perform

on the stage of a theater, in the blaze of colored fires,

it must be a fine and fascinating spectacle. I saw them go through

their complex manual with grace, spirit, and admirable precision.

I saw them do everything which a human being can possibly do with a broom,

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