LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI BY MARK TWAIN

of judging of it unhouselled, unanointed, unannealed, with all its

imperfections on its head, as I and my family too often had.

Captain Hall had certainly excellent opportunities of making

himself acquainted with the form of the government and the laws;

and of receiving, moreover, the best oral commentary upon them,

in conversation with the most distinguished citizens.

Of these opportunities he made excellent use; nothing important met

his eye which did not receive that sort of analytical attention

which an experienced and philosophical traveler alone can give.

This has made his volumes highly interesting and valuable;

but I am deeply persuaded, that were a man of equal penetration

to visit the United States with no other means of becoming

acquainted with the national character than the ordinary working-day

intercourse of life, he would conceive an infinitely lower idea

of the moral atmosphere of the country than Captain Hall appears

to have done; and the internal conviction on my mind is strong,

that if Captain Hall had not placed a firm restraint on himself,

he must have given expression to far deeper indignation than any he has

uttered against many points in the American character, with which

he shows from other circumstances that he was well acquainted.

His rule appears to have been to state just so much of the truth

as would leave on the mind of his readers a correct impression,

at the least cost of pain to the sensitive folks he was writing about.

He states his own opinions and feelings, and leaves it to be

inferred that he has good grounds for adopting them; but he spares

the Americans the bitterness which a detail of the circumstances

would have produced.

If any one chooses to say that some wicked antipathy to twelve

millions of strangers is the origin of my opinion, I must

bear it; and were the question one of mere idle speculation,

I certainly would not court the abuse I must meet for stating it.

But it is not so.

. . . . . . .

The candor which he expresses, and evidently feels, they mistake for irony,

or totally distrust; his unwillingness to give pain to persons from

whom he has received kindness, they scornfully reject as affectation,

and although they must know right well, in their own secret hearts,

how infinitely more they lay at his mercy than he has chosen to betray;

they pretend, even to themselves, that he has exaggerated the bad points

of their character and institutions; whereas, the truth is, that he has

let them off with a degree of tenderness which may be quite suitable

for him to exercise, however little merited; while, at the same time,

he has most industriously magnified their merits, whenever he could possibly

find anything favorable.

APPENDIX D

THE UNDYING HEAD

IN a remote part of the North lived a man and his sister,

who had never seen a human being. Seldom, if ever, had the man

any cause to go from home; for, as his wants demanded food,

he had only to go a little distance from the lodge, and there,

in some particular spot, place his arrows, with their barbs

in the ground. Telling his sister where they had been placed,

every morning she would go in search, and never fail of

finding each stuck through the heart of a deer. She had then

only to drag them into the lodge and prepare their food.

Thus she lived till she attained womanhood, when one day

her brother, whose name was Iamo, said to her: ‘Sister, the time

is at hand when you will be ill. Listen to my advice.

If you do not, it will probably be the cause of my death.

Take the implements with which we kindle our fires.

Go some distance from our lodge and build a separate fire.

When you are in want of food, I will tell you where to find it.

You must cook for yourself, and I will for myself.

When you are ill, do not attempt to come near the lodge,

or bring any of the utensils you use. Be sure always

to fasten to your belt the implements you need, for you

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