LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI BY MARK TWAIN

would certainly last but a very brief time; as brief a time

as it would last in London. For the soul of it is the romantic,

not the funny and the grotesque. Take away the romantic

mysteries, the kings and knights and big-sounding titles,

and Mardi-Gras would die, down there in the South.

The very feature that keeps it alive in the South–

girly-girly romance–would kill it in the North or in London.

Puck and Punch, and the press universal, would fall upon it

and make merciless fun of it, and its first exhibition would be

also its last.

Against the crimes of the French Revolution and of Bonaparte

may be set two compensating benefactions: the Revolution

broke the chains of the ANCIEN REGIME and of the Church,

and made of a nation of abject slaves a nation of freemen;

and Bonaparte instituted the setting of merit above birth,

and also so completely stripped the divinity from royalty,

that whereas crowned heads in Europe were gods before,

they are only men, since, and can never be gods again,

but only figureheads, and answerable for their acts like common clay.

Such benefactions as these compensate the temporary harm which

Bonaparte and the Revolution did, and leave the world in debt

to them for these great and permanent services to liberty,

humanity, and progress.

Then comes Sir Walter Scott with his enchantments, and by his

single might checks this wave of progress, and even turns it back;

sets the world in love with dreams and phantoms; with decayed and swinish

forms of religion; with decayed and degraded systems of government;

with the sillinesses and emptinesses, sham grandeurs, sham gauds,

and sham chivalries of a brainless and worthless long-vanished society.

He did measureless harm; more real and lasting harm, perhaps, than any

other individual that ever wrote. Most of the world has now

outlived good part of these harms, though by no means all of them;

but in our South they flourish pretty forcefully still. Not so

forcefully as half a generation ago, perhaps, but still forcefully.

There, the genuine and wholesome civilization of the nineteenth

century is curiously confused and commingled with the Walter

Scott Middle-Age sham civilization; and so you have practical,

common-sense, progressive ideas, and progressive works; mixed up

with the duel, the inflated speech, and the jejune romanticism of an

absurd past that is dead, and out of charity ought to be buried.

But for the Sir Walter disease, the character of the Southerner–

or Southron, according to Sir Walter’s starchier way of phrasing it–

would be wholly modern, in place of modern and medieval mixed,

and the South would be fully a generation further advanced than it is.

It was Sir Walter that made every gentleman in the South a Major

or a Colonel, or a General or a Judge, before the war; and it

was he, also, that made these gentlemen value these bogus decorations.

For it was he that created rank and caste down there, and also

reverence for rank and caste, and pride and pleasure in them.

Enough is laid on slavery, without fathering upon it these creations and

contributions of Sir Walter.

Sir Walter had so large a hand in making Southern character, as it existed

before the war, that he is in great measure responsible for the war.

It seems a little harsh toward a dead man to say that we never should have had

any war but for Sir Walter; and yet something of a plausible argument might,

perhaps, be made in support of that wild proposition. The Southerner of

the American Revolution owned slaves; so did the Southerner of the Civil War:

but the former resembles the latter as an Englishman resembles a Frenchman.

The change of character can be traced rather more easily to Sir Walter’s

influence than to that of any other thing or person.

One may observe, by one or two signs, how deeply

that influence penetrated, and how strongly it holds.

If one take up a Northern or Southern literary periodical

of forty or fifty years ago, he will find it filled with wordy,

windy, flowery ‘eloquence,’ romanticism, sentimentality–

all imitated from Sir Walter, and sufficiently badly done, too–

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