Chairman Whelm: What did he say to the King?
First Clerk Gerard: The villain told the King that his dream foretold the utter and complete destruction of his kingdom, his palace, his dynasty and his Royal Person, this ruination to encompass the entire male line of the Royal Family down to three generations, and possibly—on this point the scoundrel feigned uncertainty—the entire female line as well. (Great hubbub fills the chamber. Cries of “O foul deed!” and “Damnable Treason!” Chairman Whelm pounds his gavel many times.)
Chairman Whelm: Order! Order! Order! (Order is restored.) I believe the Committee can now see for themselves the danger which this sorcerer presents. In one stroke, he overthrows the government of one of our most long-standing and reliable allies on the all-too-often unsettled sub-continent of Grotum. Nor was this the last—nor even the greatest!—crime committed by this demon in human flesh. Nay, esteemed colleagues, prepare yourselves for a long and weary session. For I assure you, we have only begun our investigation. Many witnesses are still to be called. But for the moment, I would like to extend my thanks, and that of the Committee, to our distinguished guest. First Clerk Gerard, I thank you again, and you may resume your seat in the gallery. (Vigorous applause fills the chamber. First Clerk Gerard takes his seat in the gallery.) And now I would like to call to the witness stand the esteemed Director of the Ozarean Republic’s Commission to Repel Unbridled Disruption, the Angel Jimmy Jesus. (Vigorous applause fills the chamber. The Angel Jimmy Jesus takes his seat at the witness table.)
Chairman Whelm: For the official record—although it’s hardly necessary in your case!—will the witness please identify himself?
The Angel Jimmy Jesus: Certainly. I am the Angel Jimmy Jesus, Director of——, assigned to all work involving——.
Chairman Whelm: Thank you. And will you now inform the Committee as to the nature of the work you have been co-coordinating for the past period?
The Angel Jimmy Jesus. Yes, sir. At the request of the Chairman of this Committee, and pursuant to all regulations governing the activities of the——, I have launched an investigation into the history of the individual known as——.
Senator Patellarasa: Puissant Chairman, may I have the floor?
Chairman Whelm: The floor is given to Senator Patellarasa of the Liberal Party (Hand-Wringing Faction).
Senator Patellarasa: The Angel Jimmy Jesus, I wish to assure myself that the suspect’s right to privacy and freedom from inquisitory harassment were respected in the course of your investigation, as laid out in the Citizens’ Privacy Code.
The Angel Jimmy Jesus: Senator Patellarasa, the investigation into the person of——was conducted at all times within the guidelines of the Citizens’ Privacy Code, as well as, I might add, the specific regulations governing my organization, the——, even though, I might add, the subject is not actually a citizen of——. In proof of my assertion, I present the following documentation. (The Angel Jimmy Jesus hands a folder to the secretary of the Committee, who presents it to Chairman Whelm.)
Chairman Whelm: After examining the contents of this folder, I inform the Committee that it contains documentary proof that an anonymous message warning the suspect that he was under investigation by Ozarine authorities was scrawled on the underside of a manhole cover within a fifteen mile radius of the suspect’s last known residence. I believe, and I am sure the Committee will concur, that this more than satisfies the provisions of the Citizens’ Privacy Code.
Senator Patellarasa: One moment, please. I would like to know the exact content of the message.
Chairman Whelm: The message reads: “We’re watching you.” As this message clearly identifies both a subject and an object, as well as specifying the precise relationship between the two, I believe that it more than satisfies the Code. Senator Patellarasa, do you not agree?
Senator Patellarasa: Not entirely. I— (The chamber erupts in jeers and catcalls.)
Chairman Whelm, pounding his gavel: Order! Order! Order! (Order is restored.)
Senator Arbeitmachtfrei: Puissant Chairman! I demand the floor!
Chairman Whelm: I recognize the Senator from the Sons of Ozar.
Senator Arbeitmachtfrei: I denounce this interference with the sword of justice! I denounce this attempt on the part of the Liberal Party (Hand-Wringing Faction) to handcuff the authorities! I denounce the Citizens’ Privacy Code as a stain on the Ozarean spirit!