“Bah!” oathed the wizard. ” ‘Tis so long ago I have forgotten the exact phrasing. Infuriating! To have such simple problems posed that one has to grope to remember the answer!”
He sighed. “Still, best to get it right. Even a vault ward can be dangerous if improperly unlocked. Shelyid, get me the Memoirs of Sutton Sfondrati-Piccolomini.”
The dwarf disappeared into the sack, reemerged not more than a minute later with a volume in his hand. The mage quickly flipped through the pages.
“Now, where is it?” he muttered. “Ah! Here is the relevant passage.” At once he recited the following:
” ‘Willie, why do you rob banks?’ ‘Because that’s where the money is.’ ”
The glowing bars had already begun to fade before he was well into the passage. By its end, they were gone.
The wizard handed the volume back to his apprentice. “And what insult comes next?” he demanded. “There is still the last guard, the seal. In what manner will my dignity be affronted now?”
He glared at the Rap Sheet, then seized it with both hands and shook it fiercely.
“O master!” cried Shelyid. “Be careful!”
“Bah!” oathed Zulkeh. “The seal is not dangerous! It is the final guard because it is the last resort. The relic reiver having avoided the grasp of the daemon, the blast of the glyph, and the snare of the ward, there is naught can stop him now but the prevention, by sheer sealing away, of his ability to use the relic. Such is the purpose of the seal. I can now safely take the relic in hand—indeed, I could travel the world with it, use it as a footstool, a pillow!—but can I use it without opening it, without breaking the seal? Of course not! Even now, look you as I attempt to open the book!”
And so saying, the wizard made what was clearly an effort to turn the pages. As well turn the pages of a solid block of marble!
“And so what demeaning seal will appear?” demanded Zulkeh. “Solomon’s Seal, I expect, which can be broken by any half-literate herbalist in her hovel in the woods!”
He began to utter more phrases of contempt and contumely, but stopped. For now had a seal appeared, like unto a great blob of wax plastered across the open edge of the book.
“But what’s this?” he demanded. He frowned, gazing at the seal which was rapidly taking form. Odd ridges and whorls solidified, spotted gold and black.
“Fascinating! Extraordinary!” he cried, as soon as the seal had taken its final shape and structure.
“What is it, master?” queried Shelyid.
“Why, why, ’tis a Leopard Seal! Astonishing!”
“What’s a Leopard Seal, master?”
Zulkeh stared down at his apprentice, thoughtfully.
“Truly, ’tis early in your apprenticeship for an introduction to the higher seals, yet—recall, dwarf, that I predicted this journey would expose you to new knowledge and lore!”
“Oh yes, master!” cried Shelyid.
“Know, Shelyid, that all of the higher seals take their inspiration from the souls of animals. For who could keep their counsel better than dumb beasts? I might mention, in this regard, that we see here the absurdity of the popular belief that Solomon’s Seals are the greatest of seals. Preposterous! How could a seal inspired by the soul of Solomon—that vainglorious babbler, that opinionated chatterbox, that obsessive-compulsive spouter of judgments and pronunciamentos, that—well! Suffice it to say that the expression ‘pillow talk’ finds its origin in Solomon’s liaison with the Queen of Sheba.”
Here the wizard wagged his finger in Shelyid’s nose.
“Nay, fie upon such witless notions! To inspirit a seal with real power of mutery, ’tis necessary to draw upon the souls of dumb beasts. True, such beasts utter sounds, but sounds without meaning. Likewise, should I shatter the seal on this binder by force rather than science, I should reduce the contents within to pure babble. Such is the reason that all the higher seals are inspirited of animals.”
“Oh, I understand, master!” cried Shelyid. “So this seal is, well, inspired by a leopard soul.” The dwarf frowned in puzzlement. “I would have thought maybe a tiger or a lion would—”
“Nay, nay!” spoke Zulkeh. Shelyid fell silent. The wizard stroked his beard.