Shelyid raced up and pried the card off the backs and buttocks of the Georgias of order, now squealing with outrage like so many boars. The policemen staggered to their feet again, and looked around. They were standing on top of an enormous desk, next to a huge bowl containing a pipe the size of a buffalo and two used matches the size of logs. Nearby loomed a gigantic humidor. A bit farther off, huge books leaned against buildings, the which marched in stately progression, side by side, down a normal looking street. The street was filled with people going about their business.
Average men would have been paralyzed with astonishment. But these were stalwart officers of the law, trained and disciplined, ready to handle the unexpected. At once they drew their billy clubs and advanced upon Shelyid. Things would no doubt have gone badly for the dwarf, save for the intervention of the wizard.
Or rather, the wizard’s voice, which instrument of wrath descended on the Constabulary like the proverbial Word of God.
“Cease this intolerable impertinence!”
Stunned into frozen statues by the great voice, the Constabulary stared up in shock. There, at a great distance, loomed the gigantic visage of the wizard Zulkeh. The mage was holding a pack of cards in his left hand, a single card in his right. Judging by the expression on his face, he was wroth with wrath—and it was impossible not to judge correctly, for his face was the size of a great monument.
“By what right do you interrupt my studies?”
The lieutenant, his expression no longer arrogant, cleared his voice. “Sirrah wizard, a thousand apologies! But I have been sent by King Roy to oversee your studies and report on your progress.”
“Bah! Impudent knave! You are in no wise competent to oversee my studies! Nor, I misdoubt me not, are you capable of accurately reporting so much as a sliver of my science.”
The wizard glowered in the distance like a volcano. Suddenly, he flicked his wrist. The knot of policemen were flattened by the arrival of another giant card onto their heads.
“I shall tell your fortune. Ah—the Knight of Swords! You are headstrong, careless, heedless of warnings.”
“Oh yes, master!” cried Shelyid. “I tried to warn them!”
Another card landed atop the thrashing Constabulary.
“The Fool, reversed. Foretells of major problems arising from reckless, impulsive action.”
Another card. The policemen were now buried from sight.
“The Tower, reversed. Predicts the calling down of a disaster which might have been avoided. Unnecessary suffering. Self-undoing.”
Great squeals of fear and pain emanated from beneath the growing pile of cards. The wizard drew another card.
“I shall now predict my own future. Ah—excellent! The Six of Swords! Indicates that some obstacle has been overcome and progress can now be resumed.”
The wizard stretched out his hand and scooped up the knot of squirming constables onto the card. With a quick flick of the wrist, he flung them into a corner of the room. As they left the tabletop, the policemen resumed their normal size. Not to their great satisfaction, however, judging from the bellows of displeasure with which they greeted their landing on the floor.
The lieutenant scrambled to his feet and began to speak. He was immediately interrupted by the wizard.
“Silence, dolt!” oathed the mage. “You desire to oversee my studies, do you? Well, then, be silent and observe!”
And so saying, the mage reached out and drew forth one of the books leaning against the buildings on the desk. He slammed the book down flat on the table. The clapping sound caused the desk top to shimmer. A moment later, the previous objects were seen to have vanished, replaced by several others. In the brief glimpse they were allowed, the constables saw an oddly shaped, multisided object, a bowl containing a cactus, a corked bottle and a glass, and—suddenly, a horde of hideous reptiles began to emerge from a drawing pad lying beneath the book. Lizards, newts—it was difficult to say. In the blink of an eye, the reptiles were racing about in a circle, appearing and reappearing, squirming about in a most nauseating manner. The lieutenant and his men became dizzy.