Shelyid quickly read through the first chapters, in which was recounted the history and habits of the rare guthfish of Grotum. Therein he learned that the fabled fish had once—or so, at least, was the legend—swallowed the entire universe when it was tiny and disgorged it back out when it was huge. He was then introduced to the lore of the guthfish hide itself, its many attributes and curious characteristics, which included the fact that it was not only the strongest and most elastic material known to exist, that it could not only conform to whatever object or objects it encompassed, but that, in addition, it possessed the strange power of infinite expansion—this last property being apparently magical, since it could be analyzed by the use of any mathematical formula known to man, including several which were mutually contradictory.
The last chapter contained instructions for fashioning the guthfish hide into a useful sack. This Shelyid read carefully, noting that the hide could only be cut with a singularity (left drawer, upper cabinet), could only be sewn with a needle made from the square root of -1 (middle shelf, small box under the curious amulet from Obpont), and could only be stitched with superstring thread made from the Theory of Everything, of which, needless to say, the wizard had a vast amount stored on spools scattered all over the abandoned death house.
After reading the last chapter twice, Shelyid took up the box and examined it. The following was written on the front of the box:
GENUINE GUTHFISH HIDE
100% Pure and Undiluted!
Large Economy Size!!
Use It For Everything!!!
Fits Anything!!!!
WARNING: Studies by pettifogging government agencies and alarmist environmental fanatics have indicated that guthfish hide is toxic to the health of some people. Further study, however, by sober and reputable industrial scientists has shown that such people are not worth a damn and would be better off dead anyway. Symptoms may include the onset of bad nerves, pox, palsy, jitters, quivers, tremors, convulsions, paroxysms, fevers, the staggers, the jerks, shortness of breath, frequent and uncontrolled excretion, irregularities of the pulse, lockjaw, ague, fidgets, timorousness and a general feeling of social inferiority, these, of course, the classic symptoms of that most dread of nervous conditions, hysteria follicularia. Use at your own risk.
Shelyid also read this label carefully, especially the warning. Having done so, he spoke to his master.
“But, master,” whined the dwarf, “it says here that this stuff can cause—”
“Diminutive cretin!” oathed Zulkeh. “The warning applies solely to individuals who aren’t worth a damn anyway.” The mage glowered. “And while there is mounting evidence that you fit this criteria perfectly, you already suffer from the classic symptoms of hysteria follicularia—so where is the harm that can befall you?”
Unable to counter this impeccable line of reasoning, the reluctant gnome opened the box and drew out the contents. Several things became apparent. First, the guthfish hide seemed infinitely large, for there seemed no end to the number of folds Shelyid could open. Then, once the dwarf had unfolded the thing to a sufficient size for the sack required, he saw that the shape of the hide itself seemed to suggest the very sack into which it would be made. Finally, it was either utterly colorless or colored in every shade of the rainbow—it was impossible to tell.
Quickly assembling the required tools and supplies, Shelyid launched himself into the making of the sack. All afternoon he labored, stretching and trimming, shaping and fitting, adjusting and improving. Under his fingers (the which seemed less clumsy and more adept than before) a huge sack soon emerged, the interior divided and subdivided into numerous compartments and regions, the exterior liberally bestowed with divers pockets and pouches. At last, all was ready.
Shelyid proudly announced to the wizard: “Master, I’ve finished the sack.”
“Bah!” oathed Zulkeh, not looking up from the tome he was examining. “Do you seek to excuse your indolence with diligence? See to the packing of my possessions—for even as you dawdle, time wanes!”
It was the work of many hours for Shelyid to collect, categorize, store, restore, arrange, rearrange and pack and repack the sack, fitting each tome, artifact, talisman, scroll and all else carefully therein. When everything was complete, just before sunrise, he fell into an exhausted slumber. Only to be awakened, just after sunrise, by his master.