“And thus I command you, unworthy wretch, prepare the necessities of our journey,” concluded the wizard’s reproof. Grumbling, but now obedient, the dwarf set about his newfound task. As the mage and his apprentice possessed but little in the way of clothing, toiletries, and other such paraphernalia of human existence, the gathering together and packing of these items took but a moment.
“We can go now, master,” piped Shelyid, depositing two small haversacks on the floor. “We’re all packed.”
Zulkeh frowned. “Do you trifle with me, gnome?”
“No, master,” protested Shelyid. “Of course not.”
“See to it that you do not. Hasten then and attend to the packing of the necessities of our journey. This I have already bade you do, and I am not pleased by your sloth in carrying out my command.”
“But, master” whined Shelyid, “we are packed. See—here are our bags. I put everything in them: your spare robe, your other pair of socks, and all my stuff. That’s all we have.”
“Bah!” oathed Zulkeh. “I am in no mood for bumptious jests! What do I care for these trifles? Again, I command you—pack the necessities of our journey!”
“But what are they, master?” queried the puzzled dwarf.
“My instruments, dolt! What else? My scrolls! My tomes! My talismans! My artifacts!”
“H-how many of th-them do you w-want, master?” stammered the dwarf, his rapidly glazing eyes roving about their quarters, noting the many thousand scrolls heaped untidily upon workbenches and shelves, the stone figurines and clay tablets scattered about the floor, the thick leather-bound tomes of great weight stacked precariously hither and yon, the vials, beakers, jars, jugs, amulets, talismans, vessels, bowls, ladles, retorts, pincers, tweezers, pins, the bound bundles of sandalwood, ebony and dwarf pine, the bags and sacks of incense, herbs, mushrooms, dried grue of animal parts, the bottles of every shape and description filled with liquids of multitudinous variety of color, content and viscosity, the charms, the curios, the relics, the urns of meteor dust, the cartons of saints’ bones and the coffers of criminals’ skulls, and all the other artifacts of stupendous thaumaturgic potency crammed into every nook and cranny of every niche, room, closet and hallway in the death house, not excluding the heavy iron engines in the lower vaults.
“All of them, of course!” spoke the wizard. “Everything. Not a single item necessary to my science can be left behind—and they are all of them necessary, for I am not in the habit of collecting useless trivia.”
Most piteous were Shelyid’s moans.
CHAPTER V.
A Dwarf’s Travails, and the Wizard’s Comments Thereon. The Dwarf Succeeds. An Imminent Departure, Forestalled by a Gnome’s Subterfuge. A Pathetic Scene!
Long were the labors of the dwarf Shelyid which ensued, following his master’s clarification of the task at hand. For, ’twas not simply the immensity of the actual collection and storage of the mage’s possessions which faced the apprentice. Early on, as the small mountain of said possessions began to pile up in the wizard’s study, it occurred to the dwarf that he had no vehicle, no vessel, within which to stow these objects for transport.
This realization come, Shelyid pointed out to the wizard the vast disparity between the hillock of objects to be conveyed and the small size of their haversacks. The dwarf then proposed, as a solution to the quandary, the ruthless elimination of all possessions not absolutely necessary to the wizard’s work. Indeed, the diminutive apprentice waxed eloquent. He extolled the sorcerer’s great powers of mind, the titanic scope of his intellect, the oceanic breadth and depth of his spirit, all of which, argued the gnome, led to the inexorable conclusion that so puissant a thaumaturge as Zulkeh required, in actual point of fact, no more in the way of possessions than his staff—which he would, naturally, wish to carry himself—and his spare robe and extra pair of socks.
The mage was not convinced. Indeed, he now waxed most eloquently himself. He excoriated the apprentice’s feeble powers of mind, his stupefying lack of wits, the oceanic formlessness and viscous sludge of his spirit, all of which, contended Zulkeh, led to the inexorable conclusion that so sullen an apprentice as Shelyid required, in actual point of fact, the application of the wizard’s staff to his backside. Theory here led at once to practice.