PART XII
In Which We Present
a Stirring Narration of the Exploits
of Our Heroes in the City of Prygg, the Which
Include Not Only a Daring Confrontation With the
Foul Witch Magrit and Divers of Her Villainous
Associates, But Other Impressive Deeds,
As Well, Both Fair and Foul.
CHAPTER XVI.
A Wizard’s Stealthy Cunning, Undone by a Clumsy Dwarf. A Wizard’s Subtle Subterfuge, Undone by a Witless Gnome. An Impudent and Motley Crew’s Disrespectful Ditty. A Mage in Foul Humor. A Gnome’s Nature Dissected, A Dwarf’s Character Denounced. But the Road Forward Gleaned! A Grim Resolve Made!
Wizard and apprentice carefully picked their way through the streets of Prygg, hidden by the dark of night. Truly the mage listed among his many attributes the art of stealthery! For none living—no natural creature, at the very least—could for an instant have discerned his shadowy form gliding soundlessly through the gloom.
Alas, ’twas otherwise with his dwarfish companion. For the diminutive clod staggered to and fro beneath his enormous sack, raising both in voice and body the most horrendous din in the quiet streets of Prygg.
“Silence, dwarf!” hissed Zulkeh. “With your fatuitous clangor you shall arouse my enemies, ere now lulled into lassitude by the cunning of my trickery!”
“But, master,” whined Shelyid, “I can’t help it. The sack’s heavy. And I can’t see.”
“Bah!” oathed Zulkeh. “Is the furtherance of science to be undone by the frailties of such as you? Again, I command you: desist from this vociferous conduct!”
But ’twas in vain. Threaten as he might, the wizard was unable to enforce furtiveness upon his ward. At length, he desisted in his efforts.
“Clearly,” grumbled the mage, “I shall have to adopt an alternate course. No hope of escaping the notice of my enemies in the streets, burdened as I am with this dwarven lummox. So be it! We shall establish quarters for the night, and begin anew by utilizing my powers of disguise and misdirection.” And so saying, the wizard sought out a nearby hostel, Shelyid caroming behind.
* * *
Later that night, after acquiring a room in the hostel, Zulkeh instructed his apprentice in the methods of disguise and misdirection.
“Know, dwarf,” spoke the mage, “that disguise and misdirection are but two faces of the same coin. The cunning of the one stands in profound dialectic with the craftiness of the other. With this truth foremost in our minds, we stand fair—even this very night!—to advance greatly in our quest. For look you, gnome, what transpires this very moment in the common room on the floor below? In an establishment, I might add, which I chose for our lodgings due to its very notoriety as a hotbed of carousal and debauchery.”
“A lot of local folks are getting drunk,” replied Shelyid promptly.
“Precisely so! And while this behavior is unseemly and disreputable, yet does it present us with the fulcrum with which to apply the lever of my subtlety. For look you, runt, what do plebes do when they become inebriated?”
“Well, they do all kinds of things, master. They have a good time, they joke around, they play games, they urinate a lot, they get—well, I mean, they—at least they try to, you know, I mean with people usually of the opposite sex, although not always, and they—”
“Bah!” oathed the mage. “I did not request a catalog of all mortal and venal sins! The point, my stupid but loyal apprentice, is that they engage in discourse.”
“Oh yes, master! They always talk a lot, I mean a really lot, and they usually repeat themselves all the time, especially after they’ve had a lot—”
“Bah!” oathed Zulkeh. “I did not request a demonstration! Suffice it to say that it is the inevitable characteristic of the lowlife in his cups to babble freely of all manner of things, the which include secrets which would normally be kept closely hidden. I trust that our course of action should now be clear in your mind, even given your limited intellect?”
“Oh yes, master! You’re going to go down into the pub disguised like a common workman and get drunk and hang out with the people there and get slobbering drunk so you can worm your way into their confidence because they’ll see you’re just an ordinary guy, especially after they see you pissing about a gallon and falling down a few times and maybe even barfing once or twice. O master, you are the cleverest and most cunning of wizards!”