Their discomfort soon passed, however, driven away by a greater unease. For the circling reptiles were picking up their pace. In but three seconds, their individual figures had vanished in a swirling scaly maelstrom.
A moment later a new form—indistinct in shape, but strange and fearful in its aspect—materialized above the desk, wavering like a flame in the wind. The officer moaned. The squad of constables herded together in a corner, lowing in fear.
“Officer, let me introduce you to the devil KKR,” said the wizard. “I have summoned it to assist me in my investigation of the King’s dream.” The devil glowed a bit brighter. A cackling sound came from its—mouth?
“Devil!” spoke the mage. “Do you have anything to report regarding King Roy’s dream?”
“Not a thing.”
“Explain yourself!” demanded the mage. “I have given you ample time to investigate the matter.”
The devil—sneered? It was difficult to say—but certainly unpleasant.
“Kiss off, Zulkeh. I’m not one of those puny devilkins you’ve been summoning with the hexes of Hieronymus Sfrondrati-Piccolomini. So don’t try that tone with me! Besides, we’ve got orders from the top—from the CEO himself. King Roy’s dream is off limits.”
There came the impression of a satanic leer.
“Then again, I might be open to a little insider trading. Against all the rules, of course—but what’s the point of being a devil if you can’t make a little on the side?”
Zulkeh frowned. “And what would you demand in exchange? An eternal soul, I assume?”
KKR howled with laughter. The constabulary huddled yet closer in the corner. The officer’s face was white as a sheet.
“Oh, Zulkeh, you are such an incorrigible romantic,” cackled the devil. “An absolute throwback! A pure medievalist! No, no, my dear mage—souls aren’t worth a thing in these modern times. Progress, progress! Nowadays, I only deal in commodities. Bulk commodities.”
“Bah!” oathed the wizard. “I do not possess bulk commodities, evil dullard! Look about you—do you see any such mundane trivia?”
“Well, as a matter of fact—” The devil flared an ominous purple, like the sky before a hurricane. A great bloodshot eye emerged from its vague form, waving about on a stalk. The eye fixed its gaze on the policemen in the corner, who, for their part, bayed in fear and distress.
“There’s always a good market in pork bellies.”
The constables stampeded from the room, trampling their superior underfoot. They blundered up the staircase and into the entry hall above, stumbling over mummy heads, and jammed themselves—all six at once—out of the front doorway. A moment later the king’s officer leapt to his feet and raced out. In a few seconds all trace of the Royal Constabulary had vanished.
* * *
Neither on the next day nor on any day that followed did a messenger come from King Roy to inquire of the wizard Zulkeh. Then, two days before he was to return to the Royal Palace, the mage arose from his chair and summoned Shelyid to his presence.
“Shelyid,” he spoke, “I have determined the true state of things.”
“Oh master! You have discovered the secret of the King’s dream!”
“Nay, dwarf, I have not. And therein lies the mystery—for, of itself, the secret of King Roy’s dream should long since have yielded itself up to my science, the which is superb in all fields and without equal—here I eschew false modesty—in the art of divination. Yet I have failed, failed utterly, to unveil it.”
“Oh.” After a moment, the apprentice assumed a mien of cheerful consolation. “Don’t feel bad, master. After all, even a mighty sorcerer such as yourself can’t always succeed.”
“Bah!” oathed Zulkeh. “You are impertinent, gnome!” The wizard glowered fiercely. “Dolt of an apprentice! Product of idiot loins!”
Shelyid cringed before his master’s fury, groveling at his feet. “Please, master,” he whimpered, “I won’t do it again.”
“See to it that you do not!” A deep sigh issued from the wizard’s lips. “But then, perhaps you are not to blame. Oft do I forget me that error is the result of intelligence misapplied. Thus, where intelligence is absent, we are confronted not with error but with the natural, if repugnant, behavior of the common brute.”