Another Fine Myth by Robert Asprin

“Which brings us back to our original question,” Aahz asserted. “What can you do for us, Frumple?”

“I really don’t know,” the Deveel admitted. “Unless … I know! I can send you to the Bazaar!”

“The Bazaar?” I asked.

“The Bazaar on Deva! If you can’t find what you need there, it doesn’t exist. Why didn’t I think of that before? That’s the answer!”

He was on his feet now, moving toward us.

“I know you’re in a hurry, so I’ll get you started….”

“Not so fast, Frumple.”

Aahz had his sword out menacing the Deveel.

“We want a guarantee this is a round trip you’re sending us on.”

“I… I don’t understand.”

“Simple. You tried to get rid of us once. It occurs to me you might be tempted to send us off to some backwater dimension with no way to get back.”

“But I give you my word that….”

“We don’t want your word,” Aahz grinned. “We want your presence.”

“What?”

“Where we go, you go. You’re coming with us, just to be extra sure we get back.”

“I can’t do that!” Frumple seemed honestly terrified. “I’ve been banned from Deva! You don’t know what they’d do to me if I went back.”

“That’s too bad. We want a guaranteed return before we budge, and that’s you!”

“Wait a minute! I think I’ve got the answer!”

The Deveel began frantically rummaging through chests. I watched, fascinated, as an astounding array of strange objects emerged as he searched.

“Here it is!” he cried at last, holding his prize aloft.

It appeared to be a metal rod, about eight inches long and two inches in diameter. It had strange markings on its sides, and a button on the end.