Another Fine Myth by Robert Asprin

“It’s Isstvan!” I explained desperately. “He knows all about us.”

“What?”

“I was talking to him. He came into my dream!”

“Hmmm . . . sounds more like a plain old nightmare,” Aahz proclaimed. “I warned you not to let Tanda season the food.”

“Are you sure?” I said doubtfully.

“Positive,” Aahz insisted. “If Isstvan knew we were coming, he’d hit us with something a lot more powerful than making faces at you in a dream.”

I guess that was supposed to reassure me. It didn’t. All it did was remind me I was thoroughly outclassed in the upcoming campaign.

“Aahz, can’t you tell me anything about Isstvan? What he looks like, for instance.”

“Not a chance, kid,” Aahz grinned at me.

“Why not?”

“Because we won’t both see him the same way, or at least we wouldn’t describe him the same way. If I describe him to you, one of two things will happen when you first see him. If he looks scarier to you than I’ve described him, you’ll freeze. If he looks more harmless than I’ve described him, you’ll relax. Either way, it’ll slow your reactions and give him the first move. There’s no point in gaining the element of surprise if we aren’t going to use it.”

“Well,” I persisted. “Couldn’t you at least tell me about his powers? What can he do?”

“For one thing, it would take too long. Just assume that if you can imagine it, he can do it.”

“What’s the other?” I asked.

“The other what?”

“You said ‘for one thing.’ That implies you have at least one other reason.”

“Hmm,” Aahz pondered. “Well, I’m not sure you’ll understand, but to a certain degree what he can do, I mean the whole list, is irrelevant.”