Another Fine Myth by Robert Asprin

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Aahz commented, not taking his eyes from the inn. “They’re there all right.

The easier it is to get in, the harder it’ll be to get out… and they’re making it awfully easy for us to get in.”

“I don’t like it,” said Tanda firmly.

“Neither do I,” admitted Aahz. “But things aren’t going to get any better, so let’s get started. You might as well get into disguise now.”

“Right, Aahz,” she said.

Neither of them looked at me. In fact Aahz stared directly at Tanda. This kept Quigley’s attention on her also, though I must admit it helped that she began to writhe and gyrate wildly. Unobserved, I shut my eyes and got to work.

I was getting pretty good at this disguise game, which was fortunate because I was going to be sorely tested today. With a few masterful strokes, I converted Tanda’s lovely features into the dubious face of the Imp Higgens … or rather Higgens’s human disguise. This done, I opened my eyes again.

Tanda was still gyrating. It was a pleasant enough sight that I was tempted to prolong it, but we had work to do. I cleared my throat and Tanda acknowledged the signal by stopping.

“How do I look?” she asked proudly.

“Terrific!” I exclaimed with no trace of modesty.

Aahz shot me a dirty look.

“It’s uncanny!” Quigley marveled. “How do you do that?”

“Professional secret.” Tanda winked at him.

“Off with you!” Aahz commanded. “And you too, Skeeve.”

“But Aahz, couldn’t I….”

“No you can’t. We’ve discussed it before. This mission’s far too dangerous for a lad of your inexperience.”