Another Fine Myth by Robert Asprin

My spirits lifted. Besides my natural eagerness to extend my magical abilities, Aahz’s offer contained an implied statement that he was pleased with my progress so far in earlier lessons.

“Okay, Aahz,” I said, looping the unicorn’s reins around a nearby bush. “I’m ready.”

“Good,” smiled Aahz, rubbing his hands together. “Today we’re going to teach you to fly.”

My spirits fell again.

“Fly?” I asked.

“That’s what I said, kid. Fly. Exciting, isn’t it?”

“Why?”

“Whadya mean, why? Ever since we first cast jealous eyes on the creatures of the air we’ve wanted to fly. Now you’re getting a chance to learn. That’s why it’s exciting!”

“I meant, why should I want to learn to fly?”

“Well… because everybody wants to fly.”

“I don’t,” I said emphatically.

“Why not?”

“I’m afraid of heights, for one thing,” I answered.

“That isn’t enough reason to not learn,” Aahz scowled.

“Well, I haven’t heard any reasons yet as to why I should.” I scowled back at him.

“Look, kid,” Aahz began coaxingly, “It isn’t so much flying as floating on air.”

“The distinction escapes me,” I said dryly.

“Okay, kid. Let me put it to you this way. You’re my apprentice, right?”

“Right,” I agreed suspiciously.

“Well, I’m not going to have an apprentice that can’t fly! Get me!?” he roared.

“All right, Aahz. How does it work?” I knew when I was beaten.

“That’s better. Actually it doesn’t involve anything you don’t already know. You know how to levitate objects, right?”

I nodded slowly, puzzled.

“Well, all flying is is levitating yourself.”

“How’s that again?”