Dickens, Charles – American Notes for General Circulation

fireplace without any stove, full of wood ashes; a chair, and a

very small table; and on the last-named piece of furniture was

displayed, in grand array, the doctor’s library, consisting of some

half-dozen greasy old books.

Now, it certainly looked about the last apartment on the whole

earth out of which any man would be likely to get anything to do

him good. But the door, as I have said, stood coaxingly open, and

plainly said in conjunction with the chair, the portrait, the

table, and the books, ‘Walk in, gentlemen, walk in! Don’t be ill,

gentlemen, when you may be well in no time. Doctor Crocus is here,

gentlemen, the celebrated Dr. Crocus! Dr. Crocus has come all this

way to cure you, gentlemen. If you haven’t heard of Dr. Crocus,

it’s your fault, gentlemen, who live a little way out of the world

here: not Dr. Crocus’s. Walk in, gentlemen, walk in!’

In the passage below, when I went down-stairs again, was Dr. Crocus

himself. A crowd had flocked in from the Court House, and a voice

from among them called out to the landlord, ‘Colonel! introduce

Doctor Crocus.’

‘Mr. Dickens,’ says the colonel, ‘Doctor Crocus.’

Upon which Doctor Crocus, who is a tall, fine-looking Scotchman,

but rather fierce and warlike in appearance for a professor of the

peaceful art of healing, bursts out of the concourse with his right

arm extended, and his chest thrown out as far as it will possibly

come, and says:

‘Your countryman, sir!’

Whereupon Doctor Crocus and I shake hands; and Doctor Crocus looks

as if I didn’t by any means realise his expectations, which, in a

linen blouse, and a great straw hat, with a green ribbon, and no

gloves, and my face and nose profusely ornamented with the stings

of mosquitoes and the bites of bugs, it is very likely I did not.

‘Long in these parts, sir?’ says I.

‘Three or four months, sir,’ says the Doctor.

‘Do you think of soon returning to the old country?’ says I.

Doctor Crocus makes no verbal answer, but gives me an imploring

look, which says so plainly ‘Will you ask me that again, a little

louder, if you please?’ that I repeat the question.

‘Think of soon returning to the old country, sir!’ repeats the

Doctor.

‘To the old country, sir,’ I rejoin.

Doctor Crocus looks round upon the crowd to observe the effect he

produces, rubs his hands, and says, in a very loud voice:

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Dickens, Charles – American Notes for General Circulation

‘Not yet awhile, sir, not yet. You won’t catch me at that just

yet, sir. I am a little too fond of freedom for THAT, sir. Ha,

ha! It’s not so easy for a man to tear himself from a free country

such as this is, sir. Ha, ha! No, no! Ha, ha! None of that till

one’s obliged to do it, sir. No, no!’

As Doctor Crocus says these latter words, he shakes his head,

knowingly, and laughs again. Many of the bystanders shake their

heads in concert with the doctor, and laugh too, and look at each

other as much as to say, ‘A pretty bright and first-rate sort of

chap is Crocus!’ and unless I am very much mistaken, a good many

people went to the lecture that night, who never thought about

phrenology, or about Doctor Crocus either, in all their lives

before.

From Belleville, we went on, through the same desolate kind of

waste, and constantly attended, without the interval of a moment,

by the same music; until, at three o’clock in the afternoon, we

halted once more at a village called Lebanon to inflate the horses

again, and give them some corn besides: of which they stood much

in need. Pending this ceremony, I walked into the village, where I

met a full-sized dwelling-house coming down-hill at a round trot,

drawn by a score or more of oxen.

The public-house was so very clean and good a one, that the

managers of the jaunt resolved to return to it and put up there for

the night, if possible. This course decided on, and the horses

being well refreshed, we again pushed forward, and came upon the

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