Dickens, Charles – American Notes for General Circulation

walked off. When everybody had done with everything, the fragments

were cleared away: and one of the waiters appearing anew in the

character of a barber, shaved such of the company as desired to be

shaved; while the remainder looked on, or yawned over their

newspapers. Dinner was breakfast again, without the tea and

coffee; and supper and breakfast were identical.

There was a man on board this boat, with a light fresh-coloured

face, and a pepper-and-salt suit of clothes, who was the most

inquisitive fellow that can possibly be imagined. He never spoke

otherwise than interrogatively. He was an embodied inquiry.

Sitting down or standing up, still or moving, walking the deck or

taking his meals, there he was, with a great note of interrogation

in each eye, two in his cocked ears, two more in his turned-up nose

and chin, at least half a dozen more about the corners of his

mouth, and the largest one of all in his hair, which was brushed

pertly off his forehead in a flaxen clump. Every button in his

clothes said, ‘Eh? What’s that? Did you speak? Say that again,

will you?’ He was always wide awake, like the enchanted bride who

drove her husband frantic; always restless; always thirsting for

answers; perpetually seeking and never finding. There never was

such a curious man.

I wore a fur great-coat at that time, and before we were well clear

of the wharf, he questioned me concerning it, and its price, and

where I bought it, and when, and what fur it was, and what it

weighed, and what it cost. Then he took notice of my watch, and

asked me what THAT cost, and whether it was a French watch, and

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Dickens, Charles – American Notes for General Circulation

where I got it, and how I got it, and whether I bought it or had it

given me, and how it went, and where the key-hole was, and when I

wound it, every night or every morning, and whether I ever forgot

to wind it at all, and if I did, what then? Where had I been to

last, and where was I going next, and where was I going after that,

and had I seen the President, and what did he say, and what did I

say, and what did he say when I had said that? Eh? Lor now! do

tell!

Finding that nothing would satisfy him, I evaded his questions

after the first score or two, and in particular pleaded ignorance

respecting the name of the fur whereof the coat was made. I am

unable to say whether this was the reason, but that coat fascinated

him afterwards; he usually kept close behind me as I walked, and

moved as I moved, that he might look at it the better; and he

frequently dived into narrow places after me at the risk of his

life, that he might have the satisfaction of passing his hand up

the back, and rubbing it the wrong way.

We had another odd specimen on board, of a different kind. This

was a thin-faced, spare-figured man of middle age and stature,

dressed in a dusty drabbish-coloured suit, such as I never saw

before. He was perfectly quiet during the first part of the

journey: indeed I don’t remember having so much as seen him until

he was brought out by circumstances, as great men often are. The

conjunction of events which made him famous, happened, briefly,

thus.

The canal extends to the foot of the mountain, and there, of

course, it stops; the passengers being conveyed across it by land

carriage, and taken on afterwards by another canal boat, the

counterpart of the first, which awaits them on the other side.

There are two canal lines of passage-boats; one is called The

Express, and one (a cheaper one) The Pioneer. The Pioneer gets

first to the mountain, and waits for the Express people to come up;

both sets of passengers being conveyed across it at the same time.

We were the Express company; but when we had crossed the mountain,

and had come to the second boat, the proprietors took it into their

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