Dickens, Charles – American Notes for General Circulation

foresaw what the answer must be: we knew the agony he suffered.

He had often spoken of THE SALOON; had taken in and lived upon the

pictorial idea; had usually given us to understand, at home, that

to form a just conception of it, it would be necessary to multiply

the size and furniture of an ordinary drawing-room by seven, and

then fall short of the reality. When the man in reply avowed the

truth; the blunt, remorseless, naked truth; ‘This is the saloon,

sir’ – he actually reeled beneath the blow.

In persons who were so soon to part, and interpose between their

else daily communication the formidable barrier of many thousand

miles of stormy space, and who were for that reason anxious to cast

no other cloud, not even the passing shadow of a moment’s

disappointment or discomfiture, upon the short interval of happy

companionship that yet remained to them – in persons so situated,

the natural transition from these first surprises was obviously

into peals of hearty laughter, and I can report that I, for one,

being still seated upon the slab or perch before mentioned, roared

outright until the vessel rang again. Thus, in less than two

minutes after coming upon it for the first time, we all by common

consent agreed that this state-room was the pleasantest and most

facetious and capital contrivance possible; and that to have had it

one inch larger, would have been quite a disagreeable and

deplorable state of things. And with this; and with showing how, –

by very nearly closing the door, and twining in and out like

serpents, and by counting the little washing slab as standing-room,

– we could manage to insinuate four people into it, all at one

time; and entreating each other to observe how very airy it was (in

dock), and how there was a beautiful port-hole which could be kept

open all day (weather permitting), and how there was quite a large

bull’s-eye just over the looking-glass which would render shaving a

perfectly easy and delightful process (when the ship didn’t roll

too much); we arrived, at last, at the unanimous conclusion that it

was rather spacious than otherwise: though I do verily believe

that, deducting the two berths, one above the other, than which

nothing smaller for sleeping in was ever made except coffins, it

was no bigger than one of those hackney cabriolets which have the

door behind, and shoot their fares out, like sacks of coals, upon

the pavement.

Having settled this point to the perfect satisfaction of all

parties, concerned and unconcerned, we sat down round the fire in

the ladies’ cabin – just to try the effect. It was rather dark,

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Dickens, Charles – American Notes for General Circulation

certainly; but somebody said, ‘of course it would be light, at

sea,’ a proposition to which we all assented; echoing ‘of course,

of course;’ though it would be exceedingly difficult to say why we

thought so. I remember, too, when we had discovered and exhausted

another topic of consolation in the circumstance of this ladies’

cabin adjoining our state-room, and the consequently immense

feasibility of sitting there at all times and seasons, and had

fallen into a momentary silence, leaning our faces on our hands and

looking at the fire, one of our party said, with the solemn air of

a man who had made a discovery, ‘What a relish mulled claret will

have down here!’ which appeared to strike us all most forcibly; as

though there were something spicy and high-flavoured in cabins,

which essentially improved that composition, and rendered it quite

incapable of perfection anywhere else.

There was a stewardess, too, actively engaged in producing clean

sheets and table-cloths from the very entrails of the sofas, and

from unexpected lockers, of such artful mechanism, that it made

one’s head ache to see them opened one after another, and rendered

it quite a distracting circumstance to follow her proceedings, and

to find that every nook and corner and individual piece of

furniture was something else besides what it pretended to be, and

was a mere trap and deception and place of secret stowage, whose

ostensible purpose was its least useful one.

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