Dickens, Charles – American Notes for General Circulation

fellow of this kind, is to treat his guests hospitably and

well; and I had no more right, and I can truly say no more

disposition, to measure his conduct by our English rule and

standard, than I had to quarrel with him for not being of the exact

stature which would qualify him for admission into the Queen’s

grenadier guards. As little inclination had I to find fault with a

funny old lady who was an upper domestic in this establishment, and

who, when she came to wait upon us at any meal, sat herself down

comfortably in the most convenient chair, and producing a large pin

to pick her teeth with, remained performing that ceremony, and

steadfastly regarding us meanwhile with much gravity and composure

(now and then pressing us to eat a little more), until it was time

to clear away. It was enough for us, that whatever we wished done

was done with great civility and readiness, and a desire to oblige,

not only here, but everywhere else; and that all our wants were, in

general, zealously anticipated.

We were taking an early dinner at this house, on the day after our

arrival, which was Sunday, when a steamboat came in sight, and

presently touched at the wharf. As she proved to be on her way to

Buffalo, we hurried on board with all speed, and soon left Sandusky

far behind us.

She was a large vessel of five hundred tons, and handsomely fitted

up, though with high-pressure engines; which always conveyed that

kind of feeling to me, which I should be likely to experience, I

think, if I had lodgings on the first-floor of a powder-mill. She

was laden with flour, some casks of which commodity were stored

upon the deck. The captain coming up to have a little

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Dickens, Charles – American Notes for General Circulation

conversation, and to introduce a friend, seated himself astride of

one of these barrels, like a Bacchus of private life; and pulling a

great clasp-knife out of his pocket, began to ‘whittle’ it as he

talked, by paring thin slices off the edges. And he whittled with

such industry and hearty good will, that but for his being called

away very soon, it must have disappeared bodily, and left nothing

in its place but grist and shavings.

After calling at one or two flat places, with low dams stretching

out into the lake, whereon were stumpy lighthouses, like windmills

without sails, the whole looking like a Dutch vignette, we came at

midnight to Cleveland, where we lay all night, and until nine

o’clock next morning.

I entertained quite a curiosity in reference to this place, from

having seen at Sandusky a specimen of its literature in the shape

of a newspaper, which was very strong indeed upon the subject of

Lord Ashburton’s recent arrival at Washington, to adjust the points

in dispute between the United States Government and Great Britain:

informing its readers that as America had ‘whipped’ England in her

infancy, and whipped her again in her youth, so it was clearly

necessary that she must whip her once again in her maturity; and

pledging its credit to all True Americans, that if Mr. Webster did

his duty in the approaching negotiations, and sent the English Lord

home again in double quick time, they should, within two years,

sing ‘Yankee Doodle in Hyde Park, and Hail Columbia in the scarlet

courts of Westminster!’ I found it a pretty town, and had the

satisfaction of beholding the outside of the office of the journal

from which I have just quoted. I did not enjoy the delight of

seeing the wit who indited the paragraph in question, but I have no

doubt he is a prodigious man in his way, and held in high repute by

a select circle.

There was a gentleman on board, to whom, as I unintentionally

learned through the thin partition which divided our state-room

from the cabin in which he and his wife conversed together, I was

unwittingly the occasion of very great uneasiness. I don’t know

why or wherefore, but I appeared to run in his mind perpetually,

and to dissatisfy him very much. First of all I heard him say:

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