‘Don’t grunt.’
‘Father, you’re infuriating! I don’t steal because I’m too stinking’ proud!’
‘Exactly! Perfect. For the same reason you don’t cheat in school, or cheat in games.
Pride. Your own concept of yourself. “To thine own self be true, and then it follows
as the night from day -” ‘
‘”- thou canst not then be false to any man.” Yes, sir.’
‘But you dropped the “g” from the participle. Repeat it and this time pronounce it
correctly: You don’t steal because -‘
‘I am too… stinking… proud!’
‘Good. A proud self-image is the strongest incentive you can have towards correct
behaviour. Too proud to steal, too proud to cheat, too proud to take candy from
babies or to push little ducks into water. Maureen, a moral code for the tribe must
be based on survival for the tribe… but for the individual correct behaviour in
the tightest pinch is based on pride, nor on personal survival. This is why a
captain goes down with his ship; this is why “The Guard dies but does not
surrender”. A person who has nothing to die for has nothing to live for. Next
commandment.’
Simon Legree. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. Until you
corrupted me -‘
‘Who corrupted whom? I am the epitome of moral rectitude… because I know exactly
why I behave as I do. When I started in on you, you had no morals of any sort and
your behaviour was as naively shameless as that of a kitten trying to cover up on a
bare floor.’
‘Yes, sir. As I was saying, until you corrupted me, I thought the ninth commandment
meant: Don’t tell lies. But all it says is, if you have to go into court and be a
witness, then you have to tell the truth.’
‘It says more than that.’
‘Yes. You pointed out that it was a special case of a general theorem. I think the
general case ought to read: Don’t tell lies that can hurt other people -‘
‘Close enough.’
‘Father, you didn’t let me finish.’
‘Oh. Maureen, I beg your pardon. Please go on:
‘I said, “Don’t tell lies that can hurt other people” but I intended to add, “- but
since you can’t guess ahead of time what harm your lies may do, the only safe rule
is not to tell any lies at all.” ‘
Page 20
Heinlein, Robert A – To Sail Beyond the Sunset.txt
Father said nothing for quite a long time. At last he said, ‘Maureen, this one we
will not dispose of in an afternoon. A liar is worse to have around than a thief…
yet I would rather cope with a liar than with a person who takes self-righteous
pride in telling the truth, all of the truth and all of the time, let the chips fall
where they may – meaning “No matter who is hurt by it, no matter what innocent life
is ruined.” Maureen, a person who takes smug pride in telling the blunt truth is a
sadist not a saint. There are many sorts of lies, untruths, fibs, nonfactual
statements, et cetera. As an exercise to stretch the muscles of your mind -‘
‘The mind has no muscles.’
‘Smarty. Don’t teach Grandma how to steal sheep. Your mind has no muscles and that’s
what I’m trying to correct. Try to categorise logically the varieties of not-true
statements. Having done so, try to decide when and where each sort may be used
morally, if at all… and if not, why not. That should keep you out of mischief for
the next fourteen, fifteen months.’
‘Oh, Father, you´re so good to me!’
‘Stop the sarcasm or I’ll paddle your pants. Bring me a preliminary report in a
month or six weeks.’
`Thy will be done. Papa, I do have one special case. “Don’t tell fibs to Mother lest
thy mouth be washed out with lye soap.” ‘
‘Correction: “Don’t tell any fibs to your mother that she can catch you in.” If you
ever told her the ungarnished truth about our private talks, I would have to leave
home. If you catch Audrey spooning with that unlikely young cub who’s been calling