it that quickly. My Brian was a remarkable man.
Bareness to bareness was just as perfect as I always knew it would be. This time I
was even louder. I have since learned to have an orgasm silently… but I would much
rather sound off, if conditions permit. Most men like applause. Especially Briney.
At last I sighed. ‘That did it. Thank you, sir. I am now an expectant mother. I felt
it hit the target. Spung!’
‘Maureen, you’re wonderful.’
‘I’m dead. I died happy. Are you hungry? I made some tiny cream puffs for our lunch
and filled them just before you arrived.’
‘I want you for lunch:
‘Blarney. We must keep up your strength. You won’t be deprived.’ I told him about
the arrangements we would have that night – and other nights. ‘Of course Mother
knows all about it; she was a Howard bride herself. She just asks that we keep a
good face on things. Briney, are your parentes redheaded?’
‘Mother is. Dad’s hair is as dark as mine. Why?’
‘I told him about Mr Clemens’ theory. ‘He says that while the rest of the human race
are descended from monkeys redheads derive from cats.’
‘Seems logical. By the way, I forgot to tell you. If you marry me, my cat is part of
the package.’
‘Shouldn’t you have mentioned that before you knocked me up?’
‘Perhaps I should have. You object to cats?
‘I don’t even speak to people who object to cats. Briney, I’m cold. Lee’s go home.’
The sun had gone behind a cloud and the temperature suddenly dropped – typical March
weather for Missouri.
While I dressed, Briney got Daisy backed into the shafts and hitched up. Brian has
that gentle but firm touch that horses (and women) understand; Daisy obeyed him as
readily as she obeyed me, although she was usually terribly shy with strangers.
By the time we were home my teeth were chattering. But Frank had the baseburner in
the parlour fired up; we had my picnic lunch next to it. I invited Frank to share.
He had had lunch, but he found room for cream puffs.
My period was due on 18 March; I missed it. I told Briney but no one else. ‘Father
says that to miss just one is nothing. We should wait.’
`We’ll wait’
Father got home on the first of April, and the house was in a happy uproar for days.
My next period should have been 15 April – I didn’t even spot. Briney agreed that it
was time I told my father, so I did, that same Saturday afternoon.
Father looked at me solemnly. ‘How do you feel about it, Maureen?’
Tm utterly happy about it, sir. I did it on purpose – we did it on purpose. Now I
would like to marry Mr Smith as soon as possible.’
`Reasonable. Well; let’s call in your young man. I want to speak to him privately.’
`I can’t be present?’
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‘You may not be present.’
I was called back in, then Father stepped out. I said, `I don’t see any blood on
you, Briney.’
`He didn’t even get out his shot-gun. He just explained your trifling ways to me:
‘What trifling ways?’
`Now, now. Simmer down.’
Father came back in with Mother. He said to us, ‘I have explained to Mrs Johnson
about the skipped periods.’ He turned to Mother. ‘When do you think they should get
married?’
‘Mr Smith, when is your last class at Rolla?’
‘I have my last examination on Friday, 19 May, Ma’am. Commencement isn’t until:
June, but that doesn’t affect me.’
‘I see. Would Saturday, 20 May, suit you two? And, Mr Smith, do you think your
parents will be able to come here for the wedding?’
At 7.I3 p.m. on 20 May my husband and I were rolling north from Butler on the Kansas
City Southern Express… `express’ meaning that it stopped for cows, milk cans, and
frogs, but not for fireflies.
I said, `Briney, my feet hurt.’
‘Take your shoes off.’
‘In public?’
`You no longer have to pay attention to any opinion but mine… and durned little to