limp? While Nancy’s pretty fancy is verboten to me, I can dream, can’t I? If you can
dream about your father, I can dream about my daughter. Go ahead, hon; get to the
good parts.’
`Nasty man. Lecher. Brian, don’t tempt Nancy unless you mean business or she will
rum and sink her fangs into you; she’s in an unstable state.
‘And now to the good parts. Brian, as we agreed, I told Nancy about the Howard
Foundation, and promised that you would talk to her about it, too… and I
telephoned Judge Sperling. He referred me to a lawyer here in town, Mr Arthur J.
Chapman. Do you know him?’
`I know who he is. Corporation lawyer, never goes into court. Very expensive.’
‘And a trustee of the Howard Foundation:
`So I inferred from your remark. Interesting.’
`I called on him, identified myself, and he gave me Nancy’s list. For this area, I
mean: Jackson and Clay Counties, and Johnson County in Cansas.’
`Good hunting?’
`I think so. On the list is Jonathan Sperling Weatheral, son of your favourite
blonde.’
‘I’ll be a brass-balled baboon!’
Later on that night Brian said, So Ira thinks this city slicker is his brother’s
woods-colt?’
‘Yes. You will think so, too, when you see him. Dear one, he and I look so much
alike that you would swear that we are brother and sister.’
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‘And you have an acute case of flaming drawers about him.’
`That’s a mild way of putting it. I’m sorry, dear.’
‘What is there to be sorry about? If your interest in sex were so mild that you
never thought about any man but your poor, old, tired, worn out – Ouch!’ – I had
pinched him -`husband, you wouldn’t be half as good tail as you are. As it is, you
are quite lively, Mrs Finkelstein. I prefer you as you are, good points and bad.’
`Will you sign a certificate to that effect?’
`Certainly. You want it to show to your customers? Darling girl, I slipped the leash
on you years ago, as I knew then and know now that you would never do anything that
could risk the welfare of our children. You never have, you never will.’
‘My record isn’t all that good, dearest. What I did with the Reverend Doctor Ezekiel
was stupidly reckless. I blush whenever I think of it.’
`Zeke the Geek was your rite of passage, my love. It scared the hell out of you and
you’ll never take a chance on a second-rater again. That’s the acid test for adult
adultery, my true love: what sort of person you select with whom to share your
escapades. All other factors follow naturally from that choice. This Bronson who may
or may not be your cousin: would you be proud to have him here in bed with us
tonight? Or would it embarrass you? Would you be happy about it? How does this bloke
measure up?’
I thought about Brian’s acid test and checked over Mr Bronson in my mind. `Brian, I
can’t pass judgement. My head is spinning and I haven’t any sense about him.’
`Want me to talk to Father Ira about him? Nobody can pull the wool over Ira’s eyes.’
`I wish you would. Oh, don’t suggest that I want to go to bed with Mr Bronson; it
would embarrass Father and he would say Mrrrph! and grunt and stalk out of the room.
Besides, he knows it. I can feel it.’
`I can understand that. Of course Ira is jealous of this city slicker, over you. So
I’ll stay away from that aspect of the subject.’
`Jealous? Father? Over me? How could he be?’
‘My love, your great sweetness makes up for your slight stupidness. Ira can be – is
– jealous over you for the same reason that I can be jealous over Nancy and her
little pink fancy. Because I can’t have her. Because Ira wants you himself and can’t
have you. Whereas I have no need to be jealous over you as I do have you and know
that your riches are an inexhaustible bonanza. That beautiful flower between your