Heinlein, Robert A – To Sail Beyond the Sunset

`The title-page – Note the date, 1824. But the pictures are mostly classic Greece

and dome, except one in Egypt. Father said that, despite that date less than a

hundred years back, these pictures match murals in whorehouses in Pompeii… except

that these are artistically much superior to the Pompeii paintings.’

`Dr Johnson has been to Pompeii?’

‘No. Well, I don’t think he has. With Father it is sometimes hard to be sure. He did

tell me that he had seen photographs of Pompeii murals in Chicago. At Northwestern

or in some museum:

`But how did he get these pictures? I hate to tell you, my sweet innocent, but I’m

certain that these pictures would get us a long rest at Federal expense… under the

Comstock Act. If we were caught with them.’

`If we were caught. “Caught” is the important word. Father urged me to know the law

as thoroughly as possible… so as not to get caught when I broke one. Father never

felt that any law applied to him… other than in that sense.’

‘I think it is clear that your father is a subversive character, a bad influence, a

wicked old man… and I admire him without limit and hope to grow up like him.’

‘I love him all to pieces, mon homme. He could have had my maidenhead just by

lifting his eyebrow. He wouldn’t take it.’

‘I know that, beloved. I’ve known it since I first met you.’

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Heinlein, Robert A – To Sail Beyond the Sunset.txt

‘Yes, I’m a woman scorned… and someday he’ll pay. But I want to take his advice

about the Law. Briney, do you suppose I could attend classes at the Kansas City

School of Law… if I could squeeze the tuition out of my household allowance?’

‘Perhaps. But you won’t have to squeeze it out of your housekeeping money; any

schooling you want we can now afford. But never mind such trivial matters; we’re

talking about sex. S-E-X, the stuff that makes the world go around. Next picture,

please.’

‘Yes, sir. Missionary sty1e. Approved even by priests. ‘Me next picture is almost as

widely accepted, although perhaps Mrs Grundy never gets on top. This next one is

certainly not used by Mrs Grundy although by everybody else – says Father. But he

noted that a gentleman, in coupling with a lady from behind and standing up, will

reach under and find her button, so that she is ensured a good time, too. Now the

next – Oh! Briney, someday, when we can afford it, I want a bed just the right

height so that you can put me on it in that position, on my back, legs up – just the

right height so that you can stand up and enter me without crouching. I like that

position, so do you – but the last time we used it, you got cramps in your legs and

were trembling toward the last, you got so tired. Darling, I want you to enjoy it as

much as I do. Loads, that is.’

‘Lady, you’re a gentleman.’

‘Why, thank you, sir! If that is not a jest.’

No jest. Most ladies are not gentlemen; they will pull stunts that would get a man

ten days in the stocks… and walk on, with their noses in the air. But not my Mo.

With you, fair is fair and you don’t expect to get by on your sex.’

‘Ah, but I do. By “ringing the cash register”.’

‘Don’t confuse me with logic. You treat everyone decently, that’s all, even your

poor old husband. Yes, I’ll build you that bed. Not only the right height but one

guaranteed not to squeak. I’ll get busy on the design. Hmm, Mo, how would you like a

really big bed? Say one that would hold you and me and Hal and Jane – or playmates

of your choice – all at once.’

‘Goodness, what a thought! I hear that Annie Chambers has a bed like that.’

‘But I’ll design a better one. Mo, where did you hear of KC’s top Madam?’

‘At a Ladies’ Aid meeting. Mrs Bunch was deploring the open immorality of this city.

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