Heinlein, Robert A – To Sail Beyond the Sunset

says that anyone who mixes whips and chains, or either, with sex, is crazy as a pet

coon and should be kept away from healthy people. Hmm, the next one is nothing

special, just a different position, one that we’ve tried. Fun for variety, I think,

but not for every day. And now – Oh, this one Father called, “the hetaera’s

examination, or three ways for a dollar.” Do you think Annie Chambers’ girls are

examined this way? I hear that they are top quality this side of Chicago. Maybe New

York.’

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`Look, my sweet, I know nothing of Madam Chambers, or her girls. I can’t support

both you and Annie Chambers, not even with the, help of the Foundation. So I don’t

patronise brothels.’

‘What do you do in Denver, Briney? Cancel that – under our agreement, I’m not

supposed to ask.’

‘That wasn’t in our agreement; of course you can ask. You tell me your bedtime

stories and I’ll tell you mine – then we’ll play doctor. Denver… I’m glad you

asked that. In Denver I met this young fat boy -‘

`Briney!’

`- who has the most gorgeous big sister, a grass widow a little younger than you

are, with long slender legs, natural blonde, honey-coloured hair down to her waist,

a sweet disposition, and big, firm tits. I asked her, “How about it?” ‘ Briney

stopped.

`Well? Go on. What did she say?’

`She said no. Hon, in Denver I’m usually too tired for anything more adventurous

than Mother Thumb and her four daughters. They are faithful to me in their own

fashion and they don’t expect me to take them out to dinner and a show first.’

`Oh, piffle! What is the blonde’s name?’

`What blonde?’

I’ve just figured out how to get a message out via pixel. So, if you will excuse me,

I’ll get it ready at once so that I will have it ready the next time he shows up.

Chapter 9 – Dollars and Sense

Where is that damned cat?

No, no, cancel that. Pixel, Mama Maureen didn’t mean that; she’s just worried and

upset. Pixel is a good boy, a fine boy; everybody knows that.

But, damn it, where are you when I need you?

As soon as we were settled into our new home we shopped for Briney’s kitten, but not

in pet shops. I’m not sure that there was such a thing as a pet shop in KC in 1906;

I don’t recall ever having seen one that far back… and I do remember that we

bought goldfish at Woolworth’s or at Kresge’s, not at a pet shop. Special items for

cats, such as flea powder, we bought at the Dog and Cat Hospital at 31 st and Main.

But finding a kitten required asking the wind.

First I got permission to put a notice on the bulletin board at Nancy’s school. Then

I told our grocer that we were looking for a kitten, and left the same word with our

huckster – a greengrocer who stopped his wagon in our block every weekday morning to

offer fresh fruits and vegetables.

The Great Atlantic and Pacific Tea Company peddled its wares the same way but its

Sales wagon called only once a week since it carried only tea and coffee, sugar and

spices. But that meant it covered a larger area with more customers and therefore

greater chances of finding kittens. So I gave their driver our telephone number,

Home Linwood 446, and asked him to call me if he heard of a litter of kittens, and

then (having asked a favour) I bought his special for the week, twenty-five pounds

of sugar for a dollar.

A mistake – He insisted on carrying it in for me, asserting that twenty-five pounds

was much too heavy for a lady… and I learned that what he really wanted was to get

me alone. I evaded his hands by picking up Brian, Junior, a tactic Mrs Ohlschlager

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had taught me when Nancy was tiny. It works best with a small and very wet baby but

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