either way… didn’t decide to graduate until May, when it was too late for the year
book and all that jazz. Mr Hardecker – he’s the principal – wasn’t pleased. But he
did check my record and agreed that I had the option of graduating at the end of my
junior year if I wanted to. But he suggested that he just arrange to issue my
diploma quietly and I should not attend graduation or try to convince the class
of’52 that I was in their class since I wasn’t in their year book and didn’t wear
their class ring and all the rest I agreed. Then he helped me apply for the schools
I was interested in. The really good technical schools, I mean, like MIT and Case
and CalTech and Rensselaer. I want to build rocketships.’
‘You sound like your brother Woodrow:
‘Not quite. He flies ’em; I want to design them.’
`Have you heard from any of your applications?’
`Two. Case and CalTech. Turned me down.’
‘There may be good news waiting for you in Dallas. I’ll check with your father – I
must call him today anyhow; I have yet to tell him that you two wanderers showed up
here. Donald, if you are turned down this year for the schools you have applied to,
don’t lose hope.’
`I won’t. I’ll apply next year.’
Not quite what I meant. You should go to school this year. Dear, it is not necessary
to go to one of the world’s top technical schools for your lower division courses.
Any liberal arts college with high scholastic standards is okay for lower division.
Such as Claremont. Or any of the so-called Little Ivy League. Or Grinnell College.
Lots of others.’
‘But this is August, Mama. It’s too late to apply anywhere.’
‘Not quite.’ I thought hard. ‘Donald, I want you to let me promote you to eighteen;
we’ll start by getting you a Missouri driver’s licence that shows that age for you,
then we’ll get you a delayed birth certificate when you need one. Not soon, unless
you need a passport. Then you’ll go to… Grinnell, I think’-one of the committee
for my doctorate was now dean of admissions there and I had known him rather well-‘
for one or two years. Make up, your mind just which engineering school you want and
we’ll work on getting you into it next year or the year after… while you work hard
for top grades. And -‘
‘Mama, what am I going to use for money?’
‘My dear son, I am ready to go to almost any expense to get you separated from your
sister before you two get into real trouble. I won’t pay for an abortion, but I will
pay for your education over and above what you can earn yourself, working part time.
Which you should do, for self-discipline and for your own self-respect. At Grinnell
a male student can often wash dishes in a sorority house.’
I went on, ‘Those cornfed coeds are luscious; I’ve seen them. But you may not notice
them too much as I want to submit your name to the Howard Foundation, and ask for
the Iowa list of the youngest age group of girls.’
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‘But, Mama, I’m not anxious to get married and I can’t support a wife!’
‘You don’t have to get married. But are you totally uninterested in meeting a select
list of girls about your age, all of whom are healthy, all are long-lived – as you
are – all desirable girls by all the usual criteria… and all of them guaranteed
not to scream if you make a polite, respectful, but unmistakable pass at her? And
won’t get indignant – What kind of a girl do you think I am? – when it turns out you
have a fishskin or a Rameses in your pocket.
Son, you do not have to do anything whatever about your Howard list. But if you get
horny or lonely or both, shopping your Howard list surely beats hanging around bars
or attending prayer meetings; all the preliminary work has been done for you.