-‘
‘Hiyah, babe! What are you doing after?’
‘Don’t fret, Madam; he is disarmed. Next we have Attila the Hun – ‘ (A perfect
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Caspar Milquetoast, in shorts and singlet. He sat utterly still, save that his head
nodded steadily, like a nursery toy.)’ – next to him, Lizzie Borden.’ (She was a
young and beautiful woman, in a provocative evening gown. She looked quite healthy
and she smiled happily at me.) ‘Lizzie is kept alive by an artificial heart… but
the fuel that powers it is killing her slowly. Lizzie was formerly a Sister of the
Order of Santa Carolita, but she fell out of favour at the Cathedral and was
assigned to medical and surgical research. Hence her heart. Hence her fate. Hence
her commitment, for Lizzie is ‘a specialist; she terminates only the priesthood of
the Church of the Divine Inseminator. Her teeth are very sharp.
‘Next is jack the Ripper -‘
‘Call me Jack.’
`- and Dr Guillotine.’
‘Your servant, Madam.’
‘Professor Moriarty is lurking back there, and with him is Captain Kidd. That
completes our circle tonight, save for myself, chairman for life if I may be
permitted a jest. I am the Old Man of the Mountain, Hassan the Assassin.’
‘Where is Count Dracula?’
‘He asked to be excused, Lady Macbeth; he is indisposed something he drank, I
believe.’
‘I warned him that Rh-negative would poison him. Hassan, you pretmtious old fraud,
this is ridiculous. My name is not Lady Macbeth and I am not a walking corpse; I am
in perfect health. I’m lost, that’s all:
‘You are indeed lost, my lady, for there is no spot on the globe where in the long
run you can escape the Supreme Bishop’s proctors. All we offer you, all we can offer
you, are some moments of exquisite pleasure before they find you. As for a name, do
please pick one that pleases you. Bloody Mary, perhaps? But surely it is prudent to
suppress your real name when it is posted in every post office in the realm? But
come – enough of business for the nonce. Let sweet music play and good wine flow.
Carpe diem, my cousins! Drink up, enjoy the moment. Later, when we again come to
order, we will hear nominations of new candidates for termination.’ He touched a
control on the arm of his wheelchair, spun round, and rolled to a bar in ore corner.
Most of the others followed him. Lizzie Borden came over to me as I stood up.
‘Let me welcome you personally,’ she said in a grade, warm contralto. ‘I do
especially appreciate what you did that got you condemned, as it is much like my own
case.’
‘Really?’
‘I think so. I was a simple temple prostitute, a Sister of Carolita, when I fell
from grace. I had always been attracted to the religious life and believed that I
had a true vocation while I was still in high school.’ She smiled and showed
dimples. ‘Eventually I learned that the Church is run solely for the benefit of the
priesthood, not for the good of our people. But I learned it too late.’
‘Uh, are you really dying? You look so healthy.’
`With luck I can expect to live another four to six months. Here all of us are
dying, including you, my dear. But we don’t waste time thinking about it; instead we
study our next client and plan the details of his final moment. May I get you
something to drink?’
‘No, thank you. Have you seen my cat?’
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‘I saw him go on to the balcony. Let’s go look.’
We did – no Pixel. But it was a beautiful clear night; we stopped to look. ‘Lizzie,
where are we?’
‘This hotel is near the Plaza, and we’re looking north. That’s the downtown
district, and beyond it, the Missouri River.’
As I expected, Priscilla set new highs for screaming irrelevancy. She blamed
everyone – me, Dr Rumsey, Donald, President Patton, the Kansas City school board,
and unnamed others, for the conspiracy against her. She did not blame herself for