Mark Twain’s Speeches by Mark Twain

country where there is a chair of good citizenship? There is a kind of

bad citizenship which is taught in the schools, but no real good

citizenship taught. There are some which teach insane citizenship,

bastard citizenship, but that is all. Patriotism! Yes; but patriotism

is usually the refuge of the scoundrel. He is the man who talks the

loudest.

You can begin that chair of citizenship in the College of the City of New

York. You can place it above mathematics and literature, and that is

where it belongs.

We used to trust in God. I think it was in 1863 that some genius

suggested that it be put upon the gold and silver coins which circulated

among the rich. They didn’t put it on the nickels and coppers because

they didn’t think the poor folks had any trust in God.

Good citizenship would teach accuracy of thinking and accuracy of

statement. Now, that motto on the coin is an overstatement. Those

Congressmen had no right to commit this whole country to a theological

doctrine. But since they did, Congress ought to state what our creed

should be.

There was never a nation in the world that put its whole trust in God.

It is a statement made on insufficient evidence. Leaving out the

gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in

God after a fashion. But, after all, it is an overstatement.

If the cholera or black plague should come to these shores, perhaps the

bulk of the nation would pray to be delivered from it, but the rest would

put their trust in the Health Board of the City of New York.

I read in the papers within the last day or two of a poor young girl who

they said was a leper. Did the people in that populous section of the

country where she was–did they put their trust in God? The girl was

afflicted with the leprosy, a disease which cannot be communicated from

one person to another.

Yet, instead of putting their trust in God, they harried that poor

creature, shelterless and friendless, from place to place, exactly as

they did in the Middle Ages, when they made lepers wear bells, so that

people could be warned of their approach and avoid them. Perhaps those

people in the Middle Ages thought they were putting their trust in God.

The President ordered the removal of that motto from the coin, and I

thought that it was well. I thought that overstatement should not stay

there. But I think it would better read, “Within certain judicious

limitations we trust in God,” and if there isn’t enough room on the coin

for this, why, enlarge the coin.

Now I want to tell a story about jumping at conclusions. It was told to

me by Bram Stoker, and it concerns a christening. There was a little

clergyman who was prone to jump at conclusions sometimes. One day he was

invited to officiate at a christening. He went. There sat the

relatives–intelligent-looking relatives they were. The little

clergyman’s instinct came to him to make a great speech. He was given to

flights of oratory that way–a very dangerous thing, for often the wings

which take one into clouds of oratorical enthusiasm are wax and melt up

there, and down you come.

But the little clergyman couldn’t resist. He took the child in his arms,

and, holding it, looked at it a moment. It wasn’t much of a child. It

was little, like a sweet-potato. Then the little clergyman waited

impressively, and then: “I see in your countenances,” he said,

“disappointment of him. I see you are disappointed with this baby. Why?

Because he is so little. My friends, if you had but the power of looking

into the future you might see that great things may come of little

things. There is the great ocean, holding the navies of the world, which

comes from little drops of water no larger than a woman’s tears. There

are the great constellations in the sky, made up of little bits of stars.

Oh, if you could consider his future you might see that he might become

the greatest poet of the universe, the greatest warrior the world has

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