Mark Twain’s Speeches by Mark Twain

making these remarks about the Deity and the rest of the Trinity; there

is no milder way, in which to describe the petrified condition and the

ghastly expression of those people.

When I sat down it was with a heart which had long ceased to beat.

I shall never be as dead again as I was then. I shall never be as

miserable again as I was then. I speak now as one who doesn’t know what

the condition of things may be in the next world, but in this one I shall

never be as wretched again as I was then. Howells, who was near me,

tried to say a comforting word, but couldn’t get beyond a gasp. There

was no use–he understood the whole size of the disaster. He had good

intentions, but the words froze before they could get out. It was an

atmosphere that would freeze anything. If Benvenuto Cellini’s salamander

had been in that place he would not have survived to be put into

Cellini’s autobiography. There was a frightful pause. There was an

awful silence, a desolating silence. Then the next man on the list had

to get up–there was no help for it. That was Bishop–Bishop had just

burst handsomely upon the world with a most acceptable novel, which had

appeared in The Atlantic Monthly, a place which would make any novel

respectable and any author noteworthy. In this case the novel itself was

recognized as being, without extraneous help, respectable. Bishop was

away up in the public favor, and he was an object of high interest,

consequently there was a sort of national expectancy in the air; we may

say our American millions were standing, from Maine to Texas and from

Alaska to Florida, holding their breath, their lips parted, their hands

ready to applaud, when Bishop should get up on that occasion, and for the

first time in his life speak in public. It was under these damaging

conditions that he got up to “make good,” as the vulgar say. I had

spoken several times before, and that is the reason why I was able to go

on without dying in my tracks, as I ought to have done–but Bishop had

had no experience. He was up facing those awful deities–facing those

other people, those strangers–facing human beings for the first time in

his life, with a speech to utter. No doubt it was well packed away in

his memory, no doubt it was fresh and usable, until I had been heard

from. I suppose that after that, and under the smothering pall of that

dreary silence, it began to waste away and disappear out of his head like

the rags breaking from the edge of a fog, and presently there wasn’t any

fog left. He didn’t go on–he didn’t last long. It was not many

sentence’s after his first before he began to hesitate, and break, and

lose his grip, and totter, and wobble, and at last he slumped down in a

limp and mushy pile.

Well, the programme for the occasion was probably not more than one-

third finished, but it ended there. Nobody rose. The next man hadn’t

strength enough to get up, and everybody looked so dazed, so stupefied,

paralyzed; it was impossible for anybody to do anything, or even try.

Nothing could go on in that strange atmosphere. Howells mournfully, and

without words, hitched himself to Bishop and me and supported us out of

the room. It was very kind–he was most generous. He towed us tottering

away into same room in that building, and we sat down there. I don’t

know what my remark was now, but I know the nature of it. It was the

kind of remark you make when you know that nothing in the world can help

your case. But Howells was honest–he had to say the heart-breaking

things he did say: that there was no help for this calamity, this

shipwreck, this cataclysm; that this was the most disastrous thing that

had ever happened in anybody’s history–and then he added, “That is, for

you–and consider what you have done for Bishop. It is bad enough in

your case, you deserve, to suffer. You have committed this crime, and

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131

Leave a Reply 0

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *