Mark Twain’s Speeches by Mark Twain

achieved in my measurably brief life with what he has achieved in his

possibly briefer one, the effect is to sweep utterly away the ten-story

edifice of my own self-appreciation and leave nothing behind but the

cellar. When you compare these achievements of his with the achievements

of really great men who exist in history, the comparison, I believe, is

in his favor. I am not here to disparage Columbus.

No, I won’t do that; but when you come to regard the achievements of

these two men, Columbus and Stanley, from the standpoint of the

difficulties they encountered, the advantage is with Stanley and against

Columbus. Now, Columbus started out to discover America. Well, he

didn’t need to do anything at all but sit in the cabin of his ship and

hold his grip and sail straight on, and America would discover itself.

Here it was, barring his passage the whole length and breadth of the

South American continent, and he couldn’t get by it. He’d got to

discover it. But Stanley started out to find Doctor Livingstone, who was

scattered abroad, as you may say, over the length and breadth of a vast

slab of Africa as big as the United States.

It was a blind kind of search. He was the worst scattered of men. But I

will throw the weight of this introduction upon one very peculiar feature

of Mr. Stanley’s character, and that is his indestructible Americanism–

an Americanism which he is proud of. And in this day and time, when it

is the custom to ape and imitate English methods and fashion, it is like

a breath of fresh air to stand in the presence of this untainted American

citizen who has been caressed and complimented by half of the crowned

heads of Europe who could clothe his body from his head to his heels with

the orders and decorations lavished upon him. And yet, when the untitled

myriads of his own country put out their hands in welcome to him and

greet him, “Well done,” through the Congress of the United States, that

is the crown that is worth all the rest to him. He is a product of

institutions which exist in no other country on earth-institutions that

bring out all that is best and most heroic in a man. I introduce Henry

M. Stanley.

DINNER TO MR. JEROME

A dinner to express their confidence in the integrity and good

judgment of District-Attorney Jerome was given at Delmonico’s

by over three hundred of his admirers on the evening of May 7,

1909.

Indeed, that is very sudden. I was not informed that the verdict was

going to depend upon my judgment, but that makes not the least difference

in the world when you already know all about it. It is not any matter

when you are called upon to express it; you can get up and do it, and my

verdict has already been recorded in my heart and in my head as regards

Mr. Jerome and his administration of the criminal affairs of this county.

I agree with everything Mr. Choate has said in his letter regarding Mr.

Jerome; I agree with everything Mr. Shepard has said; and I agree with

everything Mr. Jerome has said in his own commendation. And I thought

Mr. Jerome was modest in that. If he had been talking about another

officer of this county, he could have painted the joys and sorrows of

office and his victories in even stronger language than he did.

I voted for Mr. Jerome in those old days, and I should like to vote for

him again if he runs for any office. I moved out of New York, and that

is the reason, I suppose, I cannot vote for him again. There may be some

way, but I have not found it out. But now I am a farmer–a farmer up in

Connecticut, and winning laurels. Those people already speak with such

high favor, admiration, of my farming, and they say that I am the only

man that has ever come to that region who could make two blades of grass

grow where only three grew before.

Well, I cannot vote for him. You see that. As it stands now, I cannot.

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