Mark Twain’s Speeches by Mark Twain

better than that of getting money out of people who don’t want to part

with it. It is always for good objects, of course. This is the plan:

When you call upon a person to contribute to a great and good object, and

you think he should furnish about $1,000, he disappoints you as like as

not. Much the best way to work him to supply that thousand dollars is to

split it into parts and contribute, say a hundred dollars a year, or

fifty, or whatever the sum maybe. Let him contribute ten or twenty a

year. He doesn’t feel that, but he does feel it when you call upon him

to contribute a large amount. When you get used to it you would rather

contribute than borrow money.

I tried it in Helen Keller’s case. Mr. Hutton wrote me in 1896 or 1897

when I was in London and said: “The gentleman who has been so liberal in

taking care of Helen Keller has died without making provision for her in

his will, and now they don’t know what to do.” They were proposing to

raise a fund, and he thought $50,000 enough to furnish an income of $2400

or $2500 a year for the support of that wonderful girl and her wonderful

teacher, Miss Sullivan, now Mrs. Macy. I wrote to Mr. Hutton and said:

“Go on, get up your fund. It will be slow, but if you want quick work,

I propose this system,” the system I speak of, of asking people to

contribute such and such a sum from year to year and drop out whenever

they please, and he would find there wouldn’t be any difficulty, people

wouldn’t feel the burden of it. And he wrote back saying he had raised

the $2400 a year indefinitely by that system in, a single afternoon. We

would like to do something just like that to-night. We will take as many

checks as you care to give. You can leave your donations in the big room

outside.

I knew once what it was to be blind. I shall never forget that

experience. I have been as blind as anybody ever was for three or four

hours, and the sufferings that I endured and the mishaps and the

accidents that are burning in my memory make my sympathy rise when I feel

for the blind and always shall feel. I once went to Heidelberg on an

excursion. I took a clergyman along with me, the Rev. Joseph Twichell,

of Hartford, who is still among the living despite that fact. I always

travel with clergymen when I can. It is better for them, it is better

for me. And any preacher who goes out with me in stormy weather and

without a lightning rod is a good one. The Reverend Twichell is one of

those people filled with patience and endurance, two good ingredients for

a man travelling with me, so we got along very well together. In that

old town they have not altered a house nor built one in 1500 years. We

went to the inn and they placed Twichell and me in a most colossal

bedroom, the largest I ever saw or heard of. It was as big as this room.

I didn’t take much notice of the place. I didn’t really get my bearings.

I noticed Twichell got a German bed about two feet wide, the kind in

which you’ve got to lie on your edge, because there isn’t room to lie on

your back, and he was way down south in that big room, and I was way up

north at the other end of it, with a regular Sahara in between.

We went to bed. Twichell went to sleep, but then he had his conscience

loaded and it was easy for him to get to sleep. I couldn’t get to sleep.

It was one of those torturing kinds of lovely summer nights when you hear

various kinds of noises now and then. A mouse away off in the southwest.

You throw things at the mouse. That encourages the mouse. But I

couldn’t stand it, and about two o’clock I got up and thought I would

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