A TRAMP ABROAD By Mark Twain

last-named gentleman left while we were not noticing,

but we looked up as he reached the far end of the table.

He stopped there a moment, and made his toilet with a

pocket comb. So he was a German; or else he had lived

in German hotels long enough to catch the fashion.

When the elderly couple and the young girl rose to leave,

they bowed respectfully to us. So they were Germans, too.

This national custom is worth six of the other one,

for export.

After dinner we talked with several Englishmen, and they

inflamed our desire to a hotter degree than ever,

to see the sights of Meiringen from the heights of

the Bru”nig Pass. They said the view was marvelous,

and that one who had seen it once could never forget it.

They also spoke of the romantic nature of the road over

the pass, and how in one place it had been cut through

a flank of the solid rock, in such a way that the mountain

overhung the tourist as he passed by; and they furthermore

said that the sharp turns in the road and the abruptness

of the descent would afford us a thrilling experience,

for we should go down in a flying gallop and seem to be

spinning around the rings of a whirlwind, like a drop

of whiskey descending the spirals of a corkscrew.

I got all the information out of these gentlemen that we

could need; and then, to make everything complete, I asked

them if a body could get hold of a little fruit and milk

here and there, in case of necessity. They threw up their

hands in speechless intimation that the road was simply paved

with refreshment-peddlers. We were impatient to get away,

now, and the rest of our two-hour stop rather dragged.

But finally the set time arrived and we began the ascent.

Indeed it was a wonderful road. It was smooth, and compact,

and clean, and the side next the precipices was guarded

all along by dressed stone posts about three feet high,

placed at short distances apart. The road could not have

been better built if Napoleon the First had built it.

He seems to have been the introducer of the sort of roads

which Europe now uses. All literature which describes

life as it existed in England, France, and Germany up

to the close of the last century, is filled with pictures

of coaches and carriages wallowing through these three

countries in mud and slush half-wheel deep; but after

Napoleon had floundered through a conquered kingdom he

generally arranged things so that the rest of the world

could follow dry-shod.

We went on climbing, higher and higher, and curving hither

and thither, in the shade of noble woods, and with a rich

variety and profusion of wild flowers all about us;

and glimpses of rounded grassy backbones below us occupied

by trim chalets and nibbling sheep, and other glimpses

of far lower altitudes, where distance diminished the

chalets to toys and obliterated the sheep altogether;

and every now and then some ermined monarch of the Alps

swung magnificently into view for a moment, then drifted

past an intervening spur and disappeared again.

It was an intoxicating trip altogether; the exceeding

sense of satisfaction that follows a good dinner added

largely to the enjoyment; the having something especial

to look forward to and muse about, like the approaching

grandeurs of Meiringen, sharpened the zest. Smoking was

never so good before, solid comfort was never solider;

we lay back against the thick cushions silent, meditative,

steeped in felicity.

I rubbed my eyes, opened them, and started. I had been

dreaming I was at sea, and it was a thrilling surprise to wake

up and find land all around me. It took me a couple seconds

to “come to,” as you may say; then I took in the situation.

The horses were drinking at a trough in the edge of a town,

the driver was taking beer, Harris was snoring at my side,

the courier, with folded arms and bowed head, was sleeping

on the box, two dozen barefooted and bareheaded children

were gathered about the carriage, with their hands

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