A TRAMP ABROAD By Mark Twain

for heaps of things. The rest was that one night he

found himself in debt to the sharper eight thousand

pieces of gold!–an amount so prodigious that it simply

stupefied him to think of it. It was a night of woe in

that house.

“I must part with my library–I have nothing else.

So perishes one heartstring,” said the old man.

“What will it bring, father?” asked the girl.

“Nothing! It is worth seven hundred pieces of gold;

but by auction it will go for little or nothing.”

“Then you will have parted with the half of your heart

and the joy of your life to no purpose, since so mighty

of burden of debt will remain behind.”

“There is no help for it, my child. Our darlings must

pass under the hammer. We must pay what we can.”

“My father, I have a feeling that the dear Virgin will

come to our help. Let us not lose heart.”

“She cannot devise a miracle that will turn NOTHING into

eight thousand gold pieces, and lesser help will bring

us little peace.”

“She can do even greater things, my father. She will

save us, I know she will.”

Toward morning, while the old man sat exhausted and asleep

in his chair where he had been sitting before his books

as one who watches by his beloved dead and prints the

features on his memory for a solace in the aftertime

of empty desolation, his daughter sprang into the room

and gently woke him, saying–

“My presentiment was true! She will save us.

Three times has she appeared to me in my dreams, and said,

‘Go to the Herr Givenaught, go to the Herr Heartless,

ask them to come and bid.’ There, did I not tell you she

would save us, the thrice blessed Virgin!”

Sad as the old man was, he was obliged to laugh.

“Thou mightest as well appeal to the rocks their

castles stand upon as to the harder ones that lie

in those men’s breasts, my child. THEY bid on books

writ in the learned tongues!–they can scarce read their own.”

But Hildegarde’s faith was in no wise shaken.

Bright and early she was on her way up the Neckar road,

as joyous as a bird.

Meantime Herr Givenaught and Herr Heartless were having

an early breakfast in the former’s castle–the Sparrow’s

Nest–and flavoring it with a quarrel; for although

these twins bore a love for each other which almost

amounted to worship, there was one subject upon which they

could not touch without calling each other hard names–

and yet it was the subject which they oftenest touched upon.

“I tell you,” said Givenaught, “you will beggar yourself

yet with your insane squanderings of money upon

what you choose to consider poor and worthy objects.

All these years I have implored you to stop this foolish

custom and husband your means, but all in vain.

You are always lying to me about these secret benevolences,

but you never have managed to deceive me yet. Every time

a poor devil has been set upon his feet I have detected

your hand in it–incorrigible ass!”

“Every time you didn’t set him on his feet yourself,

you mean. Where I give one unfortunate a little private lift,

you do the same for a dozen. The idea of YOUR swelling

around the country and petting yourself with the nickname

of Givenaught–intolerable humbug! Before I would be

such a fraud as that, I would cut my right hand off.

Your life is a continual lie. But go on, I have tried MY

best to save you from beggaring yourself by your riotous

charities–now for the thousandth time I wash my hands

of the consequences. A maundering old fool! that’s

what you are.”

“And you a blethering old idiot!” roared Givenaught,

springing up.

“I won’t stay in the presence of a man who has no more

delicacy than to call me such names. Mannerless swine!”

So saying, Herr Heartless sprang up in a passion.

But some lucky accident intervened, as usual, to change

the subject, and the daily quarrel ended in the customary

daily living reconciliation. The gray-headed old

eccentrics parted, and Herr Heartless walked off to his

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