Carlos Castaneda’s Don Juan’s Teachings

M: … it seems that the truth is … probably negated by negative emotions that in turn can only block objectivity.

R: Yes. I know you are right about “many in medicine, just like many in science or any informed disciplined effort, even artists, work their way into success.”

M: The act of healing comes from energy that individuals can develop. This energy is organically derived, for the most part, and healing moves about healthy energy, one could say, into unhealthy areas requiring repair.

R: Thank you for your writing that, again, I apologize for the foolishness throughout.

M: Always consider (for yourself) all premises that emotions are based upon. This is a form of introspection that leads to recapitulation.

M: … you are using money as an excuse for being self-defeating.

R: I’ve needed to look at that, it’s the self-pity I’ve let myself be run by, just in another form.

M: Self-pity is an excuse to expend no energy, correct nothing, and become consumed ultimately. Eagle snacks. Self-pity is a high order of dependency to use as an excuse to suck energy from other sources. Self-pity causes a crater that then a false self-aggrandizement based on illusions of accomplishment/self-worth, then lifts one from, only to have self-pity crater occur again. This oscillation continues, goes up and down, but has no lateral progress just up/down stress.

M: …I wonder if she imaged herself in the yellow dress with the blue flowers spotted around it.

R: I didn’t notice but I will pay attention to that if there is a “next time.”

M: There are two of them, they work in pairs, and a third – a brunette- sometimes appears separately. You were visited in the second attention.

M: …If you lifted the dress, you failed the test. There were many important discussions that you could have had.

R: I didn’t even consider it but rather got the message clearly from her that I better not do that stuff anymore. I then left her and I forget what happened next. What discussions?

M: They tend to introduce themselves with a direction toward the weakest point of a person’s commit. The presentation, the lure, was the sex. This means that there is a history of violating a commit to another in sexual matters. The important point is NOT that it’s sex, but that history has experienced violation of self by violating commits and covering up with deceit, which a violation of self-impeccability. The initial discussions will center on the meaning of what I have written here. The secondary discussions will expand on what impeccability means.

M: …If you love yourself unconditionally, then this is progress. Without that attribute, the love is dependent, not unconditional.

M: … Moods, it is observed, are only intrinsic components of self.

R: Very instructive, thank you

M: Welcome.

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R: You know, Michael, I’ve worked about five hours on this and now it is just this long. I’d commented to your comments and to my rants at great length, but each time I read it over there were more things to toss out. Then I spent all of today, Sunday, with it in the back of my mind and am finishing it up now having thrown way more out and adding this last paragraph (which probably could be edited out as well).

M: So far, so good. It means that you’re learning to use energy efficiently in your interface with me. This is a prototype for your learning to interface with yourself.

R: It’s been a strange day. I think what strikes me is that perhaps you can’t consider what it is to doubt the existence of the second attention. Your letter from me to (snip) made me think that. I mean, you’ve known it most of your life, but imagine, and you probably can’t, that you NEVER experienced it!

M: You probably have already experienced the second attention, or at the very least, the introduction to it. Rather than use these “glimmers” that you’ve already experienced in a mild way as indications that there is more, you seem to go into a self-denial mode. Please consider this possibility for yourself.

R: I’ve never “felt” anything other than the everyday 5 sences. OK, maybe I get a great strange “sensation” of colors at moments, but other than that, nothing but what I might describe as, “only seeing is believing.”

M: Are you really so certain of that? Really? (I don’t need a response, but you do.)

R: My edited “(snip)’s letter” shows that that is where I am … with my having to put in all of the “I’m told’s.” And then, here you show up totally unexpectedly, validating all of my supposition as best it could be validated without my actually experiencing it myself. Well, I don’t have a point about all of that, I guess. I don’t need to be making excuses for my rant.

M: No, you don’t. It provides a metric for me, though, in my dialogue with you.

R: But I do see so much of all you’ve said and CC reports, so clearly, yet I will fall totally into the pit of self-pity like that. And again today: this morning I was so “up” about it all and “knew” just what to do to “be present” but by night the doubt has creeped back and somehow, even though I know the same stuff I knew in the morning, I don’t pull out of it.

M: I have apprentices that have also had this background, and it’s understood that it takes a very high commit to alter because it’s become a life-style of self-defeat in the form of what I’ve written above in this E-mail.

R: Well, look, I feel like I’m treating you like “dear Abby.” What if I made a rule that I only write “enlightened” thoughts. I’m sure I could do it. Would that be the way to go? …

M: Then it would be a lie, and that is unacceptable. It wastes time.

R: Hello, Michael.

R: Today is today and what you see is what you see. Silently wittness without judgement and there are no moods.

R: DJ: “Come on, Out with it! Don’t have any secrets from me.

M: It’s, ah, well, difficult to deceive … there are perceptions that connect to knowledge …

R: DJ: I’m an empty tube.

M: While that sounds good, it’s only an invitation for the apprentice to open to the mentor. The mentor is never empty because he/she is filled with knowledge.

R: “Whatever you say to me will be projected out into infinity.” dJ

M: Because whatever you trust and feel deeply within yourself will construct your alternate reality of infinity.

R: What is a “reality of infinity.”

M::The third attention is infinity, eternity, continuance, heaven, or whatever term suits your comfort level.

M: The attribute set (the ability set, or level of personal power attained – again, all same thing, whatever term suits your comfort level again) we achieve “in the now” before body-death, determines: a) if we can continue (thwart the metaphorical consumption by the eagle) “at all” into the third attention; and b) the “level” (same as personal power, attribute set, abilities – pick your term again) that we evolve to gain for ourselves in “the now” that then we take for ourselves into the third attention – this is what we have for infinity. The decision is “now,” not later in the third attention. There are several components of what has been stated above. Probably the point that might be the most difficult for you to grasp (although it’s been said in these dialogues in a more subtle way) is that the level of ability (power, blah-blah) that you develop “now” is what you’re stuck with forever, that is assuming that you develop sufficient ability to continue – at all. Back a few E-mails ago when you/we were rattling about the small percentage that engage – the points made above place another emphasis on it because this states that a very small percentage evolve to continue – at all – and that even a smaller percentage evolve to the point of the higher levels achievable – and that those levels we hold for infinity/eternity, blah-blah.

M: When you recently said “you don’t give a damn about the eagle..”..etcetera, … you were basically stating that you are not choosing to evolve, or continue. Since you are still in this dialogue with me, the statement you emotionally made ‘in the rant’ is questionable. If you had said, and if you fully understand that this statement is ultimate, and if you really had already chosen not to evolve, you would have ended the comment with, “and therefore you (M:) have no purpose in my life, so goodbye”. You haven’t done/said that yet, but you came very close.

M: To those of us who have experienced the third attention, particularly in the situation of clinical death where we willed ourselves to return and finish our evolution (at least those of us who were given the choice) we understand that the third attention, infinity, and our ability to prosper within that state), is a state of evolution that is an alternate reality to any of the other attentions or states of being. Through our will, our philosophy that drives our psychology that causes us to evolve, we construct for ourselves an attribute set that allows us to complete our evolution, and prosper in (what is to us) the reality of the third attention.