M: Couple of comments: as you let go of the “I don’t experience” or the “I can’t experience” changes may initiate in how you feel and where and in what intensity. When you study yourself, try to learn if your internal thoughts go toward the “I can’t experience whatever.” If that is true, that is if the “I don’t” is driven by an “I can’t” internally then there is a complex “block” because in feeling, perceptions, attitudes et al, “can’t means won’t,” always. It’s a deep connection in the human psyche.
R: I get stuck in thinking when I should just let go (most of the time). I will think about this as I view your art.
L: Thinking is not a bad thing. Letting go is not so easy. I get a lot of headaches from letting go. Probably I do not really let go. I just try hard.
M: The struggle and the conflict is the problem because they both squander energy and cause dichotomies in energy flows. It’s true that you don’t “really” let go, and on the smaller-time-frames that you do, you travel… and perceive, and begin to enter a transformational mode…then you either panic and regress or cling to the familiar and regress.
L: I sent those forms to you without thinking why I am doing it, the same as my first e-mail. Maybe the only thing you have to do is to tell me what happened after you saw them. Some minutes after, some hours after. Maybe then we will know more about why I sent them. There must have been a reason. Just tell me what happened, without trying to find the logic.
R: This is where I feel so dumb. I actually just saw them as pictures like I see other pictures. You know, it’s like the art I put up on my Castaneda site of Mao’s. (Note: I’ve removed it as I’m close to my 5 meg limit with my server) I knew I liked them. So I end up using others terms to describe stuff, like, “wow, those are really powerful images,” when, honestly, I’m just trying to sound like I “see” something that I really don’t. Yet I am making some kind of distinction to at least have the “feeling,” “I really like that.” It’s in explaining “why” I really like something that I find myself just making up what I think will sound good to others. But, having said that, I will say about your computer art: The first one looked wild and child like, out of control… none of that in a negative sense. The next one, I saw the image of a bird head and the eye was out and again there as the sphere. The last one reminded me of a taffy pulling process and I like the undulatingness of the wavy part.
So what I want to say to you, Linda, is thank you for sharing part of who you are through these emails, especially, as they present me with a real example of the “tales of power” aspect of the teachings. I truly believe that we have the avenue to reach the third attention, as expounded my Michael, in Castaneda’s books. That belief is the direct result of your reports along with Bob’s, Ed’s, and, of course, Michael’s.
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(Note: A new person enters: Burt)
Burt: As you are already aware, my name is Burt. In 1991, when I was 12 years old, I came across a book called; The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge. I have been reading and referring to these books since that time. I have made all the efforts that I could think of during that time to embody the practices display therein.
M: Given that and with a little hasty arithmetic, you’d now be about age 21. This is an extremely unusual age for one to become deeply involved with CC/DJM’s philosophies, concepts, and practices. What was it about these writings that pulled you into this interest??? For reference, most of the others that are “connected” with me are generally over age 40.
Burt: “When a man embarks on the paths of sorcery he becomes aware, in a gradual manner, that ordinary life has been forever left behind; that knowledge is indeed a frightening affair; that the means of the ordinary world are no longer a buffer for him; and that he must adopt a new way of life if he is going to survive.”
M: Yes, this is true and it also has a way of being somewhat isolating relative to general society. When the human form is lost and when one evolves to a higher awareness in all three attentions, isolation can never be experienced again, however, the transition period yields many peaks, valleys and tests.
Burt: After 9 years of living with the knowledge displayed in “the works,” I have experienced this statement. I can never go back, I can only go forward. With this understanding, I now know that it is my duty to seek out others like me. To find those who can be spurred by me, and spur me on.
M: Caution is advised as referenced to the above statement. A warrior’s mission, if you will allow the concept, is to evolve self. There is nothing altruistic in life: everything has a purpose. Evolving self does not demand invoking the actions or interchange with others, by definition. There is also a high risk that interchange with other can become a dependency, and any dependency is the antithesis of freedom.
Burt: At the moment Rick notified me of your existence, by allowing me to read some of your correspondence with him, I knew that I had to talk to you directly in some way. I seek freedom. I seek the third attention. I seek to lose my human form and be totally aware. I know that what I have to do next is “stop the world.” Is this something you have been able to do? Can you see? Is it possible to do these things on one’s own?
M: Ultimately one’s intent drives the result. You have asked something about what I can do, but I perceive you want to know more. My progress “on the way of knowledge” has been active for perhaps 50 years, in fits and starts. The first experiences occurred at age 8, and these were sufficiently profound that my mother had me taken to a priest who was an exorcist. There is direct ancestry to a prominent historical figure in Spain who seems to have set the path for my family, and there have been something like over 100 books and one full-length docu-drama movie about him. The movie (in Spanish) was released about 1993. The original reports of his abilities and history were written in a book, circa 1526. My mother had the ability, but it scared her and she hid it in the bounds of the church. It would require many pages to relate the history, however for now, suffice it to say that my experiences have taken me to the third attention (which is “not” unknowable – once it is experienced) on multiple occasions, three of these with my body clinically dead. My existence is “always” on the bridge between the 1st and 2nd attentions, and on intent on the bridge between the 1st through 3rd attentions.
Burt: Sometimes, I am able to rejoice, for I am a warrior, I have stored my power. I am living impeccably.
M: Remember that impeccability is always a moving condition of reference. It moves commensurate to the abilities and experiences of the candidate.
Burt: Other times, I get so lost, my reason, my mind, my importance, they are such strong enemies.
M: Self-importance, ego, dependencies, anger, individually and in any combination are human form components that impede or halt the march to freedom. It must be borne in mind that “freedom” always carries with it, responsibilities. For every ability and attribute, there is a parallel attribute set of responsibilities and these are commensurate always with ability. The “tests” that the candidate must pass to continue on “the way” become proportionally more difficult as the ability expands and amplifies.
Burt: I don’t give up, I never will, I know that a warriors struggle will never end. Never have I yeilded to fear, or doubt, or remorse. I feel now that I am at the edge of an abyss…at the crest of some threshold.
M: The concept of “struggle” becomes foreign after a point of evolution. Struggle, by definition, squanders energy and that is a violation of impeccability. The candidate has as an important element of impeccability the proportional and efficient use of energy. The demand of this concept related to efficiency is to find the methods that cause the result required, absent significant struggle.
Burt: Does this make any sense?
M: Yes, with the comments yielding expansion.
Burt: Can you help me go further on the path of knowledge?
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