NOTE to readers: This part of the dialogues was obvioulsy nine months after 2-26-99, when I discovered the UC Davis web site and learned that I had melanoma. I am now editing this to be part Vl of the posted dialogues with Michael and it is Aug 13 2000 and my right arm is 99.9% fully functional again!
M: Really good news! As you release yourself into the flow of energy, unconditionally with the universe, things in every manner will only improve for you.
R: Funny, I was just, and spontaneously, going to write “love” rick, but then, before my finger hit the “L” I became uncomfortable with it. Perhaps I think too much. (dauuuu!) Love Rick
M: Ah, yes, another “test” (in the form of exploration) of self!
R: I remember now. That doesn’t work unless I love myself unconditionally first. I’d better contemplate that before I try it again. Thank you Micheal – Rick
M: Good! Yes! The problem is, of course, that as a term, “love” is probably high on the list hypocritically in society since usually it’s used as a tool of emotional barter, or simple social pretense. As you understand “how” love may become unconditional, your understanding of “the way of knowledge” will also open. Because of the need for impeccability, these understandings must be substantially “in place” before one can truly say “love” to another, and you are encouraged to learn and understand the direct and nuances of this before using the term.
R: I’m listening.
R: Thank you, Michael Rick
M: You’re listening, and getting better at it.
M: Love
M: Michael
————- Bob: You amaze me with your insight, and also from the start you have been answering some of the questions that I have not asked. Now you do it again. I wanted to know, and I didnt want to know … partly because I felt in a way I should not ask you about your personal history, partly because I didnt know if you wanted to reveal these things at this time.
M: Those who have lost, or are close to loosing, the human form have no need for protections …
B: and partly because I wanted you to remain an unknown. Now I am ready however to know.
M: Ah, yes, the sense of intrigue can cause a fascination. If the truth were fully delineated, it might not even seem credible. Fully opened, it is a very long story with many-many facets.
B: yes I would like to know very much. Here is what I think …
M: Thank you. It’s good that you have interest, and could even learn from my own personal discussion.
B: There is something scottish or plad about you …
M: On-point. The “Smiths” of my history migrated from the Norwich area of England and settled into the Loch Lomond area of Scotland. There, they joined with a Scottish clan. The plaid you see is because the “Smith” Tartan is the same as the Scottish clan’s Tartan, and there is a strong identity and deep emotions when visiting that area. It should be quickly added, though, that this fraternal side is NOT nearly as intense a driving point when compared to the maternal side. More on that later.
B: I think you have a daughter and you are close to her , but not attached … however this does not elimanate any true love..in fact I think true love comes without attachment.
M: There were two daughters. The first, died of leukemia at about age 11. That was in 1972, and my mother died about 2 months later, suddenly. The second daughter, is now aged 30.
M: You perception was “on point” again.
B: Well enough of my immagination … Yours Bob
M: Check your premises: imagination?
B: I must vanish my self doubt.
M: That would be a very good idea!
M: Being able to love, unconditionally, becomes a natural state once the human form is lost. It starts, of course, learning to love oneself unconditionally. Everything initiates from the understanding and acceptance of self. This does not imply, though, that we love everyone unconditionally since the direction applies to those of our choice.
B: And this is funny to me, I thought I was wrong, but at the same time I KNEW you were going to send me a letter telling me I was correct … and I knew I was correct. So I dont understand where my inability to trust my perceptions is coming from.
M: It’s quite probably a pattern that’s been around for a very long time. Probably the pattern has something to do with self-denial/perhaps denigration, on self-esteem issues. (Just rattle for you.)
—————
R: Dear Michael
R: You wrote: Simply it means that one gathers a feeling of peace and inner glow, in a manner of speaking.
R: I don’t know about the “inner glow” part, but last night I experienced what felt like “gathering a feeling of peace” as I layed in bed intending to stop the flow of disturbing thought, it was quite easy to do when I contemplated, what has become a sort of mantra I’ve been using: “I am already given to the power that rules my fate and I cling to nothing.” I became peaceful to the point where I saw for the first time, a glimpse, and slightly more, of what inner silence is.
M: Congratulations! A very important result!
R: There was then the thought that I may well be, contrary to what I have claimed, afraid of the second attention. And while that thought strikes me as absurd … well … it is absurd; but noticing it — I’d better deal with it. I expect that dealing with it will be by “recalling at another time” (after emailing this to you I will go and “recall” it) the now “‘stored’ in memory” experience of last night.
M: The 2nd attention is not fearful since it’s relatively easy to jump into it or out of it. It must be said, though, that the deeper strata level, just before the bridge to the 3rd attention, is difficult to leave because it’s so beautiful, loving and peaceful. The problem is, though, that this can be another trap of dependency. Freedom, per se, is indicative of the ability to move at will through all spans of the attentions.
R: But I’ve gotten ahead of this report to you. The experience of inner silence was quite wonderful. I imagine that the second attention might begin with that sense sort of locked in place; that is, I suspect that one would experience inner silence as locked in place, rather than as it was for me, a very fringe thing that, almost as soon as I felt it, I realized that the next thought, while trying to fool me into thinking it was coming form inner silence (my way of trying to say all of this) was actually my falling out of inner silence. I realized this because I’d just experienced inner silence and there were no thoughts there. A very strange totally peaceful experience.
M: The “no thoughts” portion of the 2nd attention is necessary to gain the inner peace, even beauty and love, that one must have to gain full coherence. Within that state of being, though, comes energy that is not with “noise” but still with a quiet and kind mind, and then focused intent. At that point, travelling through the attention become enabled and there are ‘thoughts’ but they are quiet, knowing and loving thoughts, and on simple ‘intent’, the focus of the intent becomes actualized.
R: I then began to contemplete the use of language and in particular the term “human form dependencies” and how language for me has always been “from” … something taken from someone else, that is to say, another’s speaking, another’s verbalizing … and I wondered then how inner silence would “label” the term I’d borrowed, ‘human form dependencies.’ Then came to me a new term — human form r … I don’t now remember it, only that it started with an ‘r’ and that I then began looking at how my speaking is all from others … none of it original … then I recalled my poems of a few years ago and I knew that they were from somewhere else, inner silence perhaps, when I considered what one of them might mean.
M: … human form regression … from the state of being that you were immediately before. Of course, in order to regress you had to be in a state above the normal human form, then fell back. (grin) Sort of brings to mind the biblical description of fallen angels, heh heh (see there is some humor in all of this).
R:
Fill me Father, this.
Was once your son
That now knows best.
Could this be you
Upon what rest Beautiful?
M: There is a fine amount of truth in that.
R: And another I’ve always thought to be so strange:
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