Sketches New and Old by Mark Twain

in this land has a good steady income and a stylish suit of new bandages

every day, and travels around on a shutter.

I will say, in conclusion, that my share of the welcome to our guest is

none the less hearty because I talk so much nonsense, and I know that I

can say the same for the rest of the speakers.

JOHN CHINAMAN IN NEW YORK

As I passed along by one of those monster American tea stores in New

York, I found a Chinaman sitting before it acting in the capacity of a

sign. Everybody that passed by gave him a steady stare as long as their

heads would twist over their shoulders without dislocating their necks,

and a group had stopped to stare deliberately.

Is it not a shame that we, who prate so much about civilization and

humanity, are content to degrade a fellow-being to such an office as

this? Is it not time for reflection when we find ourselves willing to

see in such a being matter for frivolous curiosity instead of regret and

grave reflection? Here was a poor creature whom hard fortune had exiled

from his natural home beyond the seas, and whose troubles ought to have

touched these idle strangers that thronged about him; but did it?

Apparently not. Men calling themselves the superior race, the race of

culture and of gentle blood, scanned his quaint Chinese hat, with peaked

roof and ball on top, and his long queue dangling down his back; his

short silken blouse, curiously frogged and figured (and, like the rest of

his raiment, rusty, dilapidated, and awkwardly put on); his blue cotton,

tight-legged pants, tied close around the ankles; and his clumsy blunt-

toed shoes with thick cork soles; and having so scanned him from head to

foot, cracked some unseemly joke about his outlandish attire or his

melancholy face, and passed on. In my heart I pitied the friendless

Mongol. I wondered what was passing behind his sad face, and what

distant scene his vacant eye was dreaming of. Were his thoughts with his

heart, ten thousand miles away, beyond the billowy wastes of the Pacific?

among the ricefields and the plumy palms of China? under the shadows of

remembered mountain peaks, or in groves of bloomy shrubs and strange

forest trees unknown to climes like ours? And now and then, rippling

among his visions and his dreams, did he hear familiar laughter and half-

forgotten voices, and did he catch fitful glimpses of the friendly faces

of a bygone time? A cruel fate it is, I said, that is befallen this

bronzed wanderer. In order that the group of idlers might be touched at

least by the words of the poor fellow, since the appeal of his pauper

dress and his dreary exile was lost upon them, I touched him on the

shoulder and said:

“Cheer up–don’t be downhearted. It is not America that treats you in

this way, it is merely one citizen, whose greed of gain has eaten the

humanity out of his heart. America has a broader hospitality for the

exiled and oppressed. America and Americans are always ready to help the

unfortunate. Money shall be raised–you shall go back to China you shall

see your friends again. What wages do they pay you here?”

“Divil a cint but four dollars a week and find meself; but it’s aisy,

barrin’ the troublesome furrin clothes that’s so expinsive.”

The exile remains at his post. The New York tea merchants who need

picturesque signs are not likely to run out of Chinamen.

HOW I EDITED AN AGRICULTURAL PAPER –[Written abort 1870.]

I did not take temporary editorship of an agricultural paper without

misgivings. Neither would a landsman take command of a ship without

misgivings. But I was in circumstances that made the salary an object.

The regular editor of the paper was going off for a holiday, and I

accepted the terms he offered, and took his place.

The sensation of being at work again was luxurious, and I wrought all the

week with unflagging pleasure. We went to press, and I waited a day with

some solicitude to see whether my effort was going to attract any notice.

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